Being “The Queen of the Business Lunch”
Even a "Queen" needs a new logo once in a while!
I often get asked about my nickname, “The Queen of the Business Lunch.” It’s been years since I wrote the award-winning book “The Art of the Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 and 2″ and even longer since I earned my nickname. I thought since I just got a new logo, I would take this opportunity to share some of my business lunch tips and business relationship expertise.
First, the nickname. It came about as a combination of many things. The nature of my business was such that I merely needed to stay in touch with many of my clients. Once I sold them, they were sold, so I didn’t need to do any more convincing. By the nature of my work, all I could do was take them out to lunch, build my relationships, keep them up-to-date on what was going on with my business and our industry, their industry, and so on. What better way to do this than over lunch?
I took great care of my clients, and since I had so many of them, I would book lunches weeks in advance. This of course meant that I, too, was booked weeks out. Friends in the business would call me to book lunch. “How about next Tuesday.” “Can’t…I’m booked already.” You can imagine how long it would take to find a “free” day!
It wasn’t unusual for me to be booked as much as three or four weeks out. And THAT is when the name calling started. My peers would tease me and say, “You don’t really work … You are just the Queen of the Business Lunch!” I took great offense at this, at first! I worked VERY hard. It’s never easy to make something LOOK easy. Of course my friend were just teasing. They knew how much business I was booking and that it didn’t happen by itself.
That is why I wrote “The Art of the Business Lunch.” I had hosted more than 3,000 client lunches (do that math – at a conservative 4x a week (considering business breakfasts, mixers, and lunches combined), times 52 weeks a year, times 18 years…) and I saw my sales increase by more than 2,000%! I knew I was on to something. I wanted to share my Business Relationship Expertise with business professionals everywhere.
Here are some quick tips:
- Always make a reservation.
- Don’t skip lunch; if you’re crunched for time, meet your clients for breakfast! You’ll save money, too.
- Prepare for casual conversation. Avoid awkward silence by knowing a little about a lot.
- Choose a restaurant with a great menu, lots of selections, and a medium price – unless it’s a special occasion.
- If you can wait, don’t bring up the subject of business until AFTER everyone has eaten. We tend to be more receptive to new ideas on a full stomach.
For more tips, click the RSS link to subscribe to my blog, or click the products menu button at www.RobinJay.com or Amazon.com to order “The Art of the Business Lunch.” Remember – how you behave while at a business lunch can MAKE or BREAK a deal! Don’t risk it – stack the deck in your favor by being prepared.
WHY is the Business Lunch SO IMPORTANT? Watch this quick video to discover the answer….
Mad Men Returns; Time to Entertain Clients Again!
MAD MEN: Entertaining Clients is SO COOL!
Those of us who need a big, delicious fix of Don Draper and his entourage will finally get it when season 4 of MAD MEN premieres on AMC TV July 25th. Of course “The Queen of the Business Lunch™” will be watching to see how the development of the new start-up, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, progresses and how they go about romancing all the clients away from their former agency, Sterling Cooper. I anticipate that as the MAD MEN get busy romancing clients, there will be many business lunches and cocktails consumed over the course of the new season.
A visit to the MAD MEN website reveals everything you need to know about what has ALREADY happened on the show; there are few spoilers, if any. But, what you WILL find are recipes for 1960’s cocktails, blogs, fashions from the ’60′s, and even furniture from the era that gave birth to modern advertising. My background in advertising makes every scene that much more delightful, but my career as “The Queen of the Business Lunch™” makes me eat up every scene that has to do with socializing with clients.
In spite of the apparent “glamour” associated with the 3-martini “Power Lunch” and smoking cigarettes, be forewarned: it is NOT cool to get drunk in front of clients! Just ask Freddy Rumsen. Peggy Olson now occupies poor Freddy’s office and drinks from his private bar. It seems society expects us to be able to enjoy a drink or two, but that we should never let our liquor get the better of us. I can’t wait to see Peggy invited to join in on a client lunch. I think her character would bring a lot to “The Art of the Business Lunch”!
Client lunches are so much more sedate these days! Drinking in the middle of the day is typically frowned upon. Drinking in your office is almost never heard of. Yet we need to take our clients out to lunch and build solid relationships with them. We need to seize every opportunity for quality face time. Watch these MAD MEN get in trouble, as I’m SURE they will, and remind yourself that socializing with clients is as important as ever, but you need to take it easy.
MAD MEN is as tasty a treat as it gets. We now know so much more than we did back in the 1960′s. Too much booze will ruin your life, smoking is hazardous to your health, spanking your secretary on the bum will get you sued for sexual harassment, and we need to wear our seat belts. Perhaps our coming of age and today’s era of knowing better – and having better ways of networking - is just what makes this show so decadent.
Is Drinking for Business a Bad Idea?
The July edition of Entrepreneur features business bars
I’ve let most of my magazine subscriptions expire; I’m too busy writing to read articles other than those online anymore. But the ONE magazine I kept was my favorite: Entrepreneur. I remember the first time I read a copy, I thought to myself, “These are my people! This is the magazine for ME!”
I’m having second thoughts after seeing the July issue, however! As “The Queen of the Business Lunch™” I am often asked about drinking alcohol when out with clients. I caution my audiences to take it easy, to NEVER have more than one drink at lunch, two with dinner. I tell them to arrange for a taxi or other transportation if they are planning a bigger celebration and think they may drink more. AND – most importantly – I ALWAYS caution against getting drunk in front of clients. Sure, eating before drinking can help keep you from getting very drunk; a belly full of food is sure to slow the effects of alcohol – especially compared to drinking on an empty stomach.
I was STUNNED to read the advice in this issue of Entrepreneur Magazine with regard to drinking for business. Before my book, “The Art of the Business Lunch” was published, I came across a book called “Power Lunching” which, when – for strictly entertainment purposes, I read excerpts from it at my presentations, audience members guessed it was from the 1930′s. “Power Lunching” was actually published in 1983, although the advice it gave was horrifying. Foods and beverages were categorized as being either “Power” foods or “Wimp” foods, much along the line of “Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche,” – quiche, of course, being a “W” for wimp food.
In E. Melvin Pinsel and Ligita Dienhart’s book, readers were told that for a power lunch, they should order a drink that would convey dominance, such as scotch, bourbon, gin martini, vodka martini, any whiskey served “neat” or with a simple mixer, or club soda. The authors warned that the following drinks would put you in the “wimp” category: whiskey sour or any drink served with fruit or vegetables, Perrier, Coke, Tab, 7-Up, or “any fancy mixed drink such as a daiquiri or Mai Tai or anything with an umbrella.”
While encouraging their readers that it’s okay to enjoy a round or two or THREE with your clients … even to go ONE MORE drink than your guests, they also warned about getting drunk. I don’t know how you can have two drinks before lunch and NOT get drunk! But I digress.
The point of this rant is that poor Melvin and Ligita wrote their book at the end of the ’70′s, before MADD had judges thrown off their benches for being too lenient toward drunk drivers and before public drunkenness, sexual harassment lawsuits, and women’s lib put an end to the social acceptance of all this craziness. Watching “Mad Men” on AMC is engaging because it is hard for most of us to remember that the work place ever really functioned as it does at Stirling Cooper, the fictitious ad agency that boasted bars in offices, “eye openers” for breakfast, and business executives heading out for nooners after 3-martini lunches.
So WHY is Entrepreneur touting bar meetings in 2010 and encouraging business executives to drink “power” drinks like scotch in order to discuss business? I don’t get it … and I could not be more disappointed. I think they were merely trying hard to be cutting-edge cool. And, I’m afraid an “influencer” like Entrepreneur might just encourage some young eager beavers who are not confident enough on their own to take the magazine’s advice and end up with a business mess or possibly a life disaster on their hands. Their cover story seems like a giant leap BACKWARD for progress.
Etiquette FUN for Client Lunches OR Dinner with Friends
Louise and Barry Berlin share a laugh with me at a big restaurant opening recently.
I had a few friends over for dinner last night, including my friends Barry and Louise Berlin. Louise asked if it is okay to use your bread as a “pusher” – as in using it to push the salad onto your fork.
She was surprised when I ran to my bookshelf to retrieve my copy of “Etiquette for Dummies.” I explained that I went to a source because while I was quite certain I knew the answer, I really wanted to be sure … and when it comes to this particular question, I remembered that there are actually several different answers! That’s the thing about etiquette – different behaviors apply to different situations. MOST of these variations are simply based on the differences between formal and casual settings; bread as a pusher is no exception!
I was able to share with Louise and another friend, Edy, that in a CASUAL setting, it’s okay to use your bread as a PUSHER! BUT – in a more formal setting, it is not. No wonder I couldn’t remember!
Pick up a copy and be sure you're on the right track!
It’s funny to me that many people are often too intimidated to dine with me. I try to put them at ease by explaining that I was only able to write my book, “The Art of the Business Lunch” because I had already made every mistake there is to make; why not learn from my experiences? Why must we make every mistake ourselves? 
But I do know a lot when it comes to etiquette … I even speak on it!
So, where does the FUN come in? We started reading all about bread at the dinner table – how to pass it (to the right), how to take a slice (using the napkin to hold the loaf while you tear off a slice), and how you must put butter on your dish and then butter your bread; never take butter directly from the community plate and put it on your bread.
I think it’s fascinating to read about etiquette and discover all the little nuances that add grace to a client lunch or business dinner. If you’ve ever wondered about exactly what to do, pick up a copy of an etiquette book. You’ll really find it enjoyable and some of the tips are sure to surprise you!
How Do You Ask a Client to Lunch?
A Gift Bag - Always a Great Attention-getter!
You are ready to invite a really BIG client out to lunch. You have the perfect “power lunch” spot picked out. You have your corporate expense account ready to roll. You just can’t figure out the best way to invite a client to lunch. You are not alone!
Seems many executives choke a bit when it comes to inviting a client out to lunch … and the bigger the client, the more anxiety about lunch. It’s really easy to invite a client to a business lunch – and you are only limited by your own creativity. I’m saving the VERY best method till the end – but don’t skip ahead. If you do, you’ll miss some great ways to get creative!
Imagine an executive’s secretary walks into his or her office around 11AM,
You call THIS lunch?!
and sets a shiny gift bag on the exec’s desk. “This came for you just now.” Inside the shiny bag, the executive finds a brown paper bag. In the bag is a square, sandwich-sized container with a VERY dull sandwich inside – perhaps two slices of plain white bread with a single piece of American cheese between them or a classic PBJ, and an apple.
Written on the outside of the lunch bag in black marker, a note reads: “You call THIS lunch? Meet me at The Palm next week for a steak! ~ Robin Jay.” Your business card is stapled to the top of the bag. Really … who could resist an invitation like THAT?!
A stunt like this is over-the-top – but wouldn’t YOU love it if someone went to that much trouble to invite YOU to lunch? I know I would!
If you want a more subdued method for asking a client to lunch, a written invitation can work, though be careful you don’t come across as desperate! Sometimes, in today’s fast-paced business world, catering to old-fashioned methods might make you seem out-of-date; send a quick text message invitation – “When can I take you out to lunch?” – and you might seem insincere or uncaring. It can be challenging, indeed!
You can always just pick up the phone ~
There is always the phone call. Be direct … and be friendly. Now that I’m an entrepreneur, one of my pet peeves is people calling who 1. Don’t identify themselves IMMEDIATELY, and 2. Don’t get to the purpose of their call directly. If I don’t know you, why would I want to go to lunch with you?
Remember W.I.I.F.M.!!! What Is In It For ME?! I don’t get to socialize with my dear friends as much as I would like – so for me to make the time to have a lunch with a stranger, there had better be a good reason.
“Breakfast is the New Lunch”! …or shall I say, “Coffee is Quicker”!
A coffee date can be "Outta This World!"
If you want to BUILD a relationship with someone by asking them to break bread with you, you might have an easier time getting them to say “yes” by making it easy FOR THEM. Coffee is fast. Meet them near their office.
BEST OF ALL: The VERY BEST way to invite a client to a business lunch is to find someone who PERSONALLY KNOWS YOUR PROSPECT. Ask THEM if they wouldn’t mind setting up a lunch date. Tell them lunch is on you. This “Middle Man” of sorts knows both of you. They will probably be delighted to help you arrange a meeting. And – of course – they will get to enjoy a wonderful free lunch!
WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS: Network, network, network! EVERY time you attend a networking event, you will meet at least 10 people who each know at least 10 people … and so on. Ask around. Find someone who knows the people you want to get to know.
Remember: An INTRODUCTION is the VERY best way to meet someone new. If you can arrange an introduction, asking clients to lunch will be the easiest thing you’ve ever done.
“The Queen of the Business Lunch” – There is Only One!
"The Queen of the Business Lunch" Gets Trademarked!
Well, it is about time! “The Queen of the Business Lunch™” is FINALLY trademarked! Robin Jay is the OFFICIAL “Queen of the Business Lunch”! You may be wondering what it takes to earn such a title. I’m here to answer your questions!
I hosted more than 3,000 client lunches during my years in advertising sales – though I’m quite sure that is a conservative estimate. My guess today would lean more toward 4,000. During that time, I saw my sales increase by more than 2,000%! That told me that I was doing SOMETHING right. I was compelled to share my tips and techniques with the world … and so I wrote “The Art of the Business Lunch.”
A lot has happened since I began this journey of sharing ways to build better relationships in business. First, most people are actually AFRAID to have lunch with me! Can you imagine? As a Business Relationship Expert, I can see why. But relax! There is no need to fear. The book has been printed. I am no longer looking for extreme examples to write about (Oh – except for my BLOG – where you may just get a mention or two if you misbehave during a business lunch with me!)
The Art of the Business Lunch - A MUST-READ for Business Owners & Sales Professionals
Seriously, the book is a fine example of the BEST behavior you can exhibit. Unfortunately, many of the anecdotes came from MY own MISTAKES! Sure, I’ve said the wrong thing at a business lunch. Of COURSE I’ve spilled my drink at a client lunch. And those times when I got back into my car only to discover food in my teeth? OMG! I hate that! Why didn’t someone TELL ME? But why make all those mistakes yourself when I’ve already made them FOR YOU!!! We don’t need to reinvent the wheel.
The secret to an outstanding, successful “power lunch” is to be prepared. Visit my video channel on YouTube to view some of my tips. Here’s one of my favorite videos that explains WHY the business lunch is SO IMPORTANT!
What to Order at a Business Lunch
Eat Right: It's the Fuel You Run On!
I really don’t eat HALF of what I’d like to! I could eat molten lava chocolate cake with vanilla bean ice cream after EVERY meal…even breakfast. On those rare occasions when I’m out and the ice cream is real, I can’t believe how delicious and creamy it is. Maybe that’s because the only ice cream I keep in my house is either low-fat or sugar free; no wonder “real” ice cream tastes amazing!
When I’m speaking about how I have hosted more than 3,000 client lunches, I often hear, “How come you don’t weigh 300 pounds?!” As you can see in my interview with MSNBC-TV, I told Chris Jansen that while I was taking clients out to eat several times a week, I had FOUR gym memberships all over town and I worked out A LOT! But what I didn’t get to mention was that I also ordered smart food and I ate my biggest meals during my BUSINESS LUNCHES.
There are so many reasons for ordering a more healthy lunchtime meal – to watch your weight and eat healthy, to have food that is easy to eat (it’s a LOT easier to get small bites of a piece of fish in your mouth than it is to down ribs or an over-sized burger!), and to focus more on the meeting that the eating. But there is another reason why you might want to order salads, fish, or lean meat – especially when out with clients.
Eating smart makes you sharp. Sure, you’ll look successful….but you’ll also be able to THINK like a winner. I spoke with one of my coaching clients today. She sounded tired, worn out, beaten up, frustrated, and down. She was angry at certain things going on in her life and was having trouble remaining optimistic.
About an hour into our session, I realized she had not been eating right. She’s had a kidney transplant and is on more meds than the average person. If she doesn’t eat, the meds mess up her stomach. If there isn’t healthy food prepared, easy to prepare, or ready to eat, she’ll eat what she can. Sound familiar? Of course it does…we ALL do that!
My client has an extra challenge, though. She is blind. She can’t just jump in her car and run to the store or Whole Foods to pick up a healthy meal or snack! A few bus transfers and an hour later, she MAY find something decent to eat.
It’s funny…she came to me to help her with her speaking and writing career. She is getting her Masters in Interactive Design so she can help other people by developing user-friendly software or by designing buildings for optimal accessibility. I am not a nutritionist. But if this woman is not able to think clearly or function, then before I can help her to write or speak professionally, we have to put some of the best fuel in her tank….(her THINK TANK!)
Failing to eat healthy food is a lot like trying to run a car on corn syrup instead of gasoline. Sure, it might get down the road a bit before it conks out, but it will eventually kill the engine. Cars need fresh oil, gasoline, spark plugs (ENERGY) and healthy tires. Why can’t we view our bodies the same way? Let’s put the right fuel in so we can perform at our best! A business lunch is no exception – eat smart to stay sharp!
Hybra Bluetooth ORB: Captain Kirk – Eat Your Heart Out!
MUST HAVE!!! I want an O.R.B. NOW!!!
My friend Phil Robertson, owner of Common Sense Consulting (Phil@PJRobertson.com), turned me on to this company whose new bluetooth product captivated him at the recent Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. Phil has great taste, as this product won the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) 2010 Best of Innovation winner in the wireless handsets accessories category.
If you believe in synchronicities, this story won’t surprise you. Phil heard from a friend today, Trish, who lives in Michigan. She asked him some questions about marketing. So, what was she up to? She works for this incredible company that is manufacturing the Bluetooth ORB – or “Orbital Ring Bluetooth,” pictured above. Yes…this is the exact same product that had Phil drooling last month.
Imagine this scene: I’m out to lunch with an important client. The ring on my finger actually starts to ring. I can view an “EInk” display that tells me who’s calling. I slip the ring off my finger and with a slight twist, the ring opens to an “S” shape and I set it on my ear and start talking. Okay – I admit I’m the one who said never talk on the phone during a business lunch….but C’mon!!! This is wild!!! What a conversation piece! I would love to get a call while at a networking event!
So – want to know more? According to the company’s site at www.Hybratech.com, here are some key details on the ORB:
The ORB with Digital Read Out - MUST HAVE NOW!!
- Harnesses bone conducting technology from NXT Sound to deliver high-quality sound without the discomfort of placing a device inside the ear.
- Delivers Class 2 Bluetooth (~30-ft range) in multiple ring sizes.
- Offers vibratory alerts of incoming calls and messages.
- The base model features an E Ink display that shows caller ID, text messages and calendar reminders.
- The deluxe edition features a FOLED (Flexible Organic Light Emitting Diode) screen for full-color display of caller ID, text messages and calendar reminders.
Hybra plans to start selling its first base model ORBs in early 2010, at a suggested retail price of $129 USD. (I’ll wait until I get MINE before telling them they are CRAZY! That is a DEAL!!!)
A deluxe edition is planned for launch later in 2010, at a suggested retail price of $175 USD. Limited edition models featuring decorative gemstones, to be priced based on the value of the gemstones, will also follow. Oh – this goes well beyond WANT – this is entering NEED!!! One of these gems with gemstones is better than Botox to put a happy glaze on your face!
Voice activation? Gemstones? Chic as all get out? Fitted to your finger? RING, RING, RING! I swear, I may start having myself paged. Kudos to Hybra – it’s about time someone invented something from the ground up. This Bluetooth device is innovative, chic, sexy, and will decimate the competition. We are used to paying $100 and up for a great Bluetooth product. Seriously, what’s a few more dollars?
I want one in EVERY color to match my wardrobe. But I’ll start with the silver. Holy smoke – what an era we live in! Do the toys get any better than this? Wii, GPS, smartphones, iPads…there is so much help to be had! The only thing I can’t figure out is why I’m STILL blogging at 9PM! Time for dinner. It’s a shame, though – I could go on about these ORBS for hours!!!
Thanks, Phil…you not only know marketing – but you know an amazing product when you see it! How exciting!