Business Meal Etiquette Still Stumps Many
Business Meal Etiquette Expert Robin Jay Shares Tips for How to Succeed at The Art of the Business Lunch
Business Meal Etiquette Still a Sticky Situation for Many
As “The Queen of the Business Lunch”, I am often asked to speak on business meal etiquette. I enjoy being able to help business executives discover the right way to conduct business over the table. It’s as much about not making mistakes as it is about doing things the right way! A bad lunch experience can destroy the opportunity to build a profitable business relationship. The key is to BE PREPARED! You can prepare for everything from casual conversation to choosing the right restaurant for your business meal.
Business Meal Etiquette Tips
Some of the most important tips I can share with you are:
- Whoever does the inviting to a business meal picks up the check, unless your client asks, “When are we going to lunch?” In that case, YOU would pick up the check. That is actually a fabulous scenario because your client is giving you the opportunity to take the relationship to a higher level. And, this is the ULTIMATE purpose behind sharing a meal. Seize it! You can slip your credit card to your server when you are being seated. Your clients will be settling in and won’t even notice. This also indicates to your server that YOU are the host of this business meal.
- Is it ever okay to order alcohol at a business meal or whenever you are out with clients? I am asked this question more than just about any other; it tends to stump even the most seasoned business pros. I always recommend that you follow the leader when it comes to alcohol. That being said, be sure to TAKE IT EASY! You never want to get drunk when out with clients. Make sure you are not drinking on an empty stomach. And, if you’re at dinner and you want to offer wine, I have a simple method for ordering a nice bottle even if you’re not a wine aficianado – but your client is. In fact, my tip was published in Chicken Soup for the Wine Lover’s Soul. Don’t be intimidated! Remember, your servers are there to help you. Look at the wine list, select two options, then point to the wine list and ask your server, “Which of these two would you recommend?” Your server will direct their comments to the table. THAT is when you give your clients the opportunity to weigh in. And, most importantly, YOU will control the cost. If given the opportunity, many clients will order the most expensive bottle, hoping to impress you with their knowledge … or merely to take advantage of your expense account!
- Be prepapared for casual conversation before a business meal. Be up to date on current events, industry trends, new technology (when applicable), community events, and world affairs. NEVER bring up any topic that could be considered “controversial” – ie: politics, religion, sex, drugs, etc. Read magazines, the latest best-seller, see the newest movie at theaters, and on the day of your lunch, try to catch at least 15 – 20 minutes of a national news show.
- Avoid ordering foods that are challenging to eat. This includes most pastas, oversized burgers barbequed ribs, chocolate fondue … you get the picture! If you think you might end up wearing your meal, such as when you are served a sandwich that is too big to eat by hand, simply desconstruct it and eat it with your untensils.
Make Your Business Meals the Most Productive Time of the Day
From choosing the right restaurant in the right price range to deciding whether or not to pick up your client or meet them at the restaurant, there are many opportunities for a business meal to turn into a disaster. Don’t let this happen to you. Be prepared for your business meals by knowing what to do – and what NOT to do – before you go. Once you discover the benefits of sharing a business meal with your clients, you’ll start to see your business grow more than you ever thought possible.
If you have business meal questions, I’m here to help. Email me at Robin at RobinJay.com and I’ll be happy to help you navigate your business meals to success.
Las Vegas Motivational Speaker Robin Jay Now on eSpeakers
Motivational Sales Speaker Robin Jay Shares a Moment with Her Audience
Las Vegas Motivational Sales Speaker Robin Jay Now on eSpeakers
I’ve been a motivational sales speaker in Las Vegas for nearly 10 years. So, when Nancy Lauterbach, owner of Red Propeller Speakers Bureau, suggested I build a profile on eSpeakers, I took her advice to heart immediately! Nancy knows as much about the speaking industry as ANYONE!
The exercise of listing “everything” about my speaking career as a “Business Relationship Expert”, “Sales Speaker,” and “The Queen of the Business Lunch” on the eSpeaker website took me several days (since I was also busy doing my other work.) I needed to post my programs, bio, etc., plus re-edit a demo video so it would be free of contact information … a significant tool for bureaus.
The best part of the task was digging up testimonials for my speaking engagements across the country from meeting planners who had booked me to speak and were impressed with the outcome. Sure, I have a “one sheet” with a few choice raves (Interested? You can see some of these on this site under my speaker page.) But eSpeakers recommended I list about 15, so I ended up going through some letters I’ve received over the past few years. It was a joy to recall the various speaking engagements I’ve had. I remembered the audiences and the wonderful people I’ve met. It’s rewarding to know that as a motivational speaker, I can make a difference in how people view their business relationships. And I’m SURE I changed the way many of them will manage their CLIENT POWER LUNCHES, (plus Etiquette, and Networking, too)!
As a Sales Speaker, I Will Empower Your Teams
If you’ve followed my career at all, you know I’ve been busier making movies lately than speaking. BUT, I am always thrilled whenever I get to speak. I’m excited at the prospect of being available to speak more this year and I’m looking forward to seeing how my profile on eSpeakers will work toward generating new business. I’ll keep you posted. I want to speak to your group and empower your teams; as a sales speaker, I know what it takes; I sold advertising for nearly 20 years and regularly brought in 6-figure contracts!
An Entertaining Sales Speaker Will Make a Difference
The experience I’ve gained as a writer and producer (www.TheKeeperoftheKeys.com) has helped me as a Motivational/ Sales Speaker by giving me even more amazing stories that I can now share from the platform. An entertaining sales speaker will empower an audience by keeping them engaged! Because of this intense experience, I now think more like a business OWNER rather than merely a sales rep – and that makes my sense of what works to make businesses successful even keener than it was before, which was pretty darn keen! I’m happy to credit my ability to build great relationships for my success as a film producer. Not only did I recruit some of the most AMAZING speakers to appear in my film, but throughout the entire process – from production to editing to the premiere to my distribution deal – I have built outstanding business relationships with some remarkable experts and professionals.
I’m looking forward to meeting more people, speaking at more luncheons and events, and sharing my experience to help everyone become a Business Relationship Expert!
Want to know what you should never lick at a CLIENT LUNCH?! I have the answer for you in this video, along with some other quick tips for building better business relationships when hosting your very own “Power Lunches”:
Help Your Team Increase Sales
Robin Jay shares business relationship tips to increase sales with MPI Edmonton
Robin Jay: I want to help you INCREASE SALES
Is the goal for your next sales meeting or annual conference to INCREASE SALES? Do you want to bring in a motivational speaker who can IMPROVE your team’s attitude, soft skills, and their overall ability to close more sales? That is exactly what I do. Don’t blame the economy! I can show you how to grow your sales and increase your business – whatever business you are in – and whatever the economy.
I discovered the SECRET for increasing AND sustaining sales. When I worked as an account executive, I regularly exceeded my sales goals by more than 150%! Imagine if everyone on YOUR team could do that!
The Secret to Increasing Sales is Building Relationships
How did I do it? If you want your sales executives to discover what I know, then bring me in to speak at your next meeting. I can assure you, it’s all about the RELATIONSHIPS your team will be able to build over time.
Get this: whenever I speak on sales, I ask my audiences if they have a business near their homes – a drugstore, a restaurant, a salon; but, instead of patronizing this convenient establishment, I ask if they get in their cars and drive 15 – 20 minutes to a LESS CONVENIENT business because they prefer how they are treated there. The answer is ALWAYS 100% “YES!”
The reason for this is because PEOPLE PREFER TO DO BUSINESS WITH PEOPLE THEY LIKE!
I am a Business Relationship Expert, an Award-winning Author and one of the most entertaining speakers you’ll ever hear. My engaging, fun programs are filled with tips and techniques that your team can implement IMMEDIATELY to increase sales and improve their business. Email me today – Robin at RobinJay.com – and I’ll share countless testimonials with you from satisfied clients. Call or email me today. It’s not too late to make up lost ground in 2013!
“The Secret” Meets “Harry Potter” in My New Film
"The Keeper of the Keys" - Now Available on DVD, Shipping Worldwide
The one question I hear from people who are blown away by my new movie, The Keeper of the Keys, is “Where did the idea for this come from?” As a fan of personal development and self-improvement, I have tried (yes, TRIED) to watch all of the self-help movies that are currently available. About 20 minutes into each movie, I realize I just can’t watch anymore. They are boring; the endless stream of talking heads and trite sound bites quickly become tedious.
I thought, “WHY? Why can’t SOMEONE produce a movie that will help and empower viewers, yet will be so much fun and entertaining that even people who are NOT fans of personal development will be so engrossed watching the movie that they will learn something even if they weren’t trying to?!”
I decided I would produce such a movie. But, I’d never made a movie before. Still, my DESIRE to elevate an entire genre was powerful and I knew I would find a way. Channeling this passion is how I wrote The Art of the Business Lunch, sold it, and saw it published in 12 languages. This is how I published three anthologies, The Power of the Platform, and this is how I have accomplished every significant goal in my life. By connecting with our PASSION, we are able to move mountains.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned over the past few years had been the importance of working with a mentor … but that is a blog (or 10) unto itself! In this case, I went to the top of the mountain, and asked producer/director Stephen Simon to help me. He was amazing. He said this movie would have to CRITICALLY different if I was going to achieve my goal. It was Stephen who recommended that I make it funny – and I didn’t even have to think about it. I LOVED the idea!
The Keeper of the Keys was born. But, how could I make the movie funny without taking anything away from the experts? The answer was to have a dream sequence – like something out of A Christmas Carol – that would be the ticket. The idea for this came to me as I was emailing Stephen one day. Yes, it literally came to me. When the Universe wants you to accomplish your goals, it sends a lot of help along the way!
Then, I hired director Scott Cervine. He specialized in directing spiritual films and he also acts. I wanted him to play the main character in my movie. “Michael Walden” represents everyone who feels victimized by their circumstances. His transformation is deep, moving, and hilarious. He is resistant to all things and even argues with the experts to the delight of the viewers.
Next, I needed some star power. In the field of Self Improvement, that could only mean Jack Canfield. And, I love Marci Shimoff – who had contributed to my anthology series, so I invited her to be a part of this movie, too. Marci asked us if we’d like her friend John Gray on board, as well. We jumped at the chance to have John in the movie. The fact that I own the Las Vegas Convention Speakers Bureau and had built relationships with these stars made it easier for me to invite them to be in my movie. They were excited about the prospect. They had each appeared in The Secret, and were hoping that this movie might prove to be as successful.
Armed and ready to go, I recruited 15 top experts – a diverse group of authors and speakers from around the world.
Yours Truly in Costume as "Elizabeth" - the Mysterious Spiritual Guide
I wanted the movie to be mysterious and magical, and Scott, as director and editor, was able to incorporate outstanding special effects. He found the ideal location for the dream sequence in the Parisian Palace in Las Vegas. It offered set after set and lent so much to the feel and power of the movie. The experts appear in frames and come to life as Michael, led by a mysterious spiritual guide, “Elizabeth” (played by yours truly), approach them. Not since Harry Potter has a movie been this mysterious, this magical, or this much fun. The experts share deeply personal stories – nothing anyone has ever heard before – and the stories have a tremendous impact on Michael. His enlightenment is inevitable.The movie has been compared to The Secret for its expertise and likened to Harry Potter for its special effects, though nobody flies around an arena and the transformations are internal – no one is turned into an animal! But, the fun and the moving stories are all there.
DVDs are now available for shipping worldwide. This movie will change your life. It has already been called the new GOLD STANDARD of the genre. The Keeper of the Keys has been licensed to be the April release for Spiritual Cinema Circle and should arrive in members’ mailboxes this week. Members are in more than 65 countries around the world. If you’re not a member of SCC, you can buy the DVD at the official website – click here. Sign up to become an affiliate and earn a % of all sales that come from visitors you send to the site.
I hope you will bring this DVD home and enjoy it with your family. The experts are brilliant, the story is engaging, and the special effects make it as much fun as you’ve ever had at the movies. And you will be moved. I made this movie for you – I know you will enjoy it.
Join Me & Jack Canfield for Lunch in Las Vegas Dec. 8th
Robin Jay & Jack Canfield on the Set of "The KEEPER of the KEYS"
Ever wonder what it would be like to have lunch with Jack Canfield and “The Queen of the Business Lunch”? Well, this is your chance! Join me – the undeniable “Queen of the Business Lunch” – and Jack Canfield, co-creator of “Chicken Soup for the Soul” and “The Success Principles” for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity this Thursday, Dec. 8th, at 11:30 AM, at The PALM Restaurant inside the Forum Shops at Caesars Palace. Talk about a real “POWER LUNCH!” This event is going to be something you will remember 4EVER!!!
I will be joined by Jack Canfield, Marci Shimoff, and the expert cast from my new movie, “The KEEPER of the KEYS” for an intimate, VIP luncheon at the Palm. You’ll have the chance to get to know Jack & Marci better, mingle with the experts and other like-minded people, and enjoy a fabulous lunch. Imagine the buzz you’ll start when you post a picture of yourself with these icons of personal development on your Facebook page or Website!
Jack and Marci have offered to say a few words after lunch; they’re sure to share some memorable moments from their incredible lives! Later on, get set to see the world premiere of “The KEEPER of the KEYS”! The premiere event begins with a red carpet ceremony outside the classic showroom at the all new Plaza Hotel Casino at 7PM. Be one of the first people to see the movie that Spiritual Cinema Circle cofounder, producer, and director Stephen Simon called “…a gift to the world … the new gold standard in its genre.”
Visit the “Key Movie” website to view the trailer and discover the cast of experts and the stories behind the movie. Then, just click on the header on the KEY MOVIE site or click here now to go to the Event Bee site to get your tickets. It’s all for a worth cause; a portion of the proceeds will go to Volunteers in Medicine, Southern Nevada.
Dying for a Great Business Lunch?
I just had to share. I spoke recently for HP in Southern California, to a wonderful group of their printer resellers and partners. One of the guests was really inspired. Really. Working with Cristine McMillan at NetQuest and Eileen Angel with HP was a great experience. They encourage a fun, creative environment. And, they do a LOT to build solid relationships with their HP partners. Their guests enjoyed a fabulous lunch at Fleming’s during my presentation.
Carol decorated her cubicle with a business lunch fit for even the oldest executives!
I was so grateful when they forwarded these photos of Carol McAloney, an HP IPG Champion, who took my message to heart this Halloween. I guess there is NEVER a bad time for a great business lunch! I was only upset that as the QUEEN of the Business Lunch, I didn’t think of this first! Great job, Carol – I will remember this forever.
Check out the photos closely and you’ll see this happy couple is dining on roasted cockroach, finger-ling potatoes, (made with real fingers!), blood red wine, and the table is adorned with black roses. Of course, my book – “The Art of the Business Lunch, Building Relationships Between 12 and 2″ – is handy in case the mr. or ms. need to quick-check their etiquette!
It’s incredible that several people to whom I showed this photograph said, “I think I’ve eaten in that restaurant….the service is SO SLOW!” Hilarious. Here’s a close up of the fabulous business lunch for two.
Special thanks to Carol, Eileen, and Cristine. It’s a pleasure to work with such CREATIVE, imaginative, and fun professionals! Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween!
Ever felt like service was THIS slow?
More Answers to Big Business Lunch Questions
A LOT Can Go Wrong at a Business Lunch: Being Prepared Will Help
As I wrote in my last post, I spoke recently for HP in Southern California. I was brought in to speak because my clients appreciate the importance of doing a business lunch the right way. Whether you’ve been on more than 3,000 client lunches (like I have) or you’re just starting out, it is important that you feel comfortable and confident. This can come from knowing what to avoid or how to handle certain situations.
During the meal, I asked the printer resellers and distributors to try to “Stump the Speaker / Shock the Speaker.” I wanted to offer my BEST advice for their WORST situations. I haven’t been stumped yet because most challenges or problems that come up at business lunches are more common than people think, but I definitely heard some great stories and thought-provoking questions.
I asked our guests 1) what was the worst thing that EVER happened to them at a business lunch, 2) how they might have better handled the situation, and 3) to share anything they might have trouble with – in general – along the way.
I found it interesting that most people offered their OWN suggestions as to how they might have better handled a particular situation. I think most of us tend to “hash & rehash” those awful moments in our minds. Seems we’d ALL like “a ticket to ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda.’” My mantra is “be prepared,” but things can happen fast when at a business lunch. If you’re with a big client, you might be nervous. And then, there are just a LOT of things that can go wrong. We’re people – not robots – and we have emotions, as well as million thoughts a day. Hindsight is always 20/20. 
Good judgment – unfortunately – comes from bad experience.
Here are some of the best stories from last week:
Shannon said that a client dumped coffee in his lap. HOT coffee. YIKES! As to what he would do differently? He would not have ordered coffee for the table! THAT was easy! And, I can add this little tip:
IF YOU KNOW that your client likes something you don’t care for – such as alcohol, dessert, or sushi, bring someone from your office as a “buffer.” That way, your client won’t have to drink alone (and YOU of course will be Designated Driver!), YOU won’t have to try to find cooked entrees at a sushi bar, or you won’t have to see your morning workout get annulled by a giant slice of cake you forced down just because your client wanted dessert! Bringing a coworker (or boss) can be a very wise move, especially when you know your client is going to want something you don’t care for.
One executive ended up in a restaurant that was too noisy. We’ve ALL been to restaurants that are USUALLY just fine for a business lunch, but on the day WE are there, there is a baby shower going on at the next table or some other type of large, noisy party. We can’t prepare for EVERY distraction, but try asking your maitre d’ for a quiet table when you make your reservation. (Of COURSE you are going to make a reservation!)
NEVER Pay for a Business Lunch with CASH!
One of my guests asked, “What if your client wants to pay for lunch?” I went into great detail in my book on how to avoid that situation by slipping your credit card to your server the moment you are seated. Not only does that help to avoid the fight over the check, but it also identifies YOU as the host of that party. This is an especially helpful tip for women when taking men to lunch. In many restaurants, servers still tend to give the check to the man. Ladies – take note! And you definitely want to pay for lunch with a credit card. Paying with cash can create a sort of “Let’s all chip in” or “Can I get the tip” atmosphere.
Alcohol … excessive alcohol, that is, … is the #1 cause of distress at business lunches! People have too much to drink or they are simply drinking a little on an empty stomach. Either way, they get drunk and it’s not long before their behavior gets sloppy. Chris said he brought a sales executive with him to a client lunch. The executive had too much to drink – and Chris ended up having the VP of his company call the client to apologize. I believe there is no quicker way to LOSE YOUR JOB than by getting drunk in front of clients. TAKE IT EASY!
It’s not a sin to eat a little something before you go. And – if you are attending a mixer at 5PM and lunch was at noon, you WILL BE drinking on an empty stomach. Park yourself by the food table when you first arrive. Remedy the situation. THEN, you’ll be free to mix and mingle with a drink in your hand without ending up on the floor! Besides, it’s impossible to eat, drink, AND hand out business cards! I keep a bag of nuts in my car, just in case I get hungry in the middle of the day or for any other time I’m not able to grab a quick bite.
How can you stop someone from drinking too much? This is a bit touchy, but it’s a great chance to collaborate with your server. Excuse yourself to the restroom, find your server, and tell them to CUT OFF the supply of alcohol to your client! Let them be the bad guy. They can also cut someone’s drink enough to render it fairly harmless. If you suspect your client may be on their way to getting drunk, order appetizers and get your server involved. Have them weaken the drinks so you’ll have the chance to get your client to eat. And NEXT TIME, invite that client out to breakfast. It will be a lot easier for them to stop drinking if they never get started.
Lastly, if you slip and fall, injuring only your pride, just stand up, brush yourself off, and carry on! I always ask if ANYONE in the room has NEVER spilled a drink. I’ve yet to see a hand go up. We are human, floors are slippery. Don’t wear shoes you can’t walk in – THAT should help slightly. Then, watch your step. I’m not saying you’ll never fall again, but being prepared WILL help!
I want to send out special thanks to everyone that I got to meet in OC. I’m here for you if any other questions come to mind. And if YOU have a situation for which you would like to have my opinion or my advice, just ask!
It’s Hard to Stump ‘The Queen of the Business Lunch’!
I got to speak to an outstanding group of professionals this week – printer resellers and distributors for HP. Since the program was for several hours and included lunch, I conceived an exercise to keep everyone engaged during the actual meal.
I passed out forms asking what was the WORST thing that had ever happened to them during a business lunch, how they might have been able to handle the situation better, and to add any other challenges they may have at networking or business events.
Since I’ve been speaking on “The Art of the Business Lunch” and building relationships for nearly 10 years now, and have YET to be stumped, I thought this would really be fun. The afternoon flew by, however, and I did not have the opportunity to go over the comments I received. Hence, I wanted to share the responses here … in a blog or two.
Here goes …
Never Draw Attention to Something Bad!
One of my favorite stories came from a rep walked into a restaurant with a client. About 15 minutes later, he pointed out a distracting couple that was making out at their table. Turned out to be his client’s husband and his mistress. When asked what he might have done differently, his only comment was that he should have asked this lady out after her divorce. Apparently, she’d “cleaned her husband’s clock” in the divorce. She got such a grand settlement, she quit her job and hasn’t worked since. I GUESS you could call that a happy ending?!
Another executive actually left his wallet at home. As for handling the situation better? He said he should have rescheduled his meeting for another day. I think that would have been a terrific solution – IF he wasn’t able to borrow $100 from a friend or swing by his house before lunch. BTW, I told him a story from my book about a sales rep who consistently “left his wallet at home” as a means of getting his clients to pick up the check. The buyers, who talk amongst each other, got wise and never fell for this again.
It's Easy to Get Away From a "Jerk" When at Networking Events
One of the professionals said he had a hard time acting interested in other peoples’ stories while at networking events. We’ve ALL been stuck in boring conversations and being prepared for casual conversation can certainly help us to steer a conversation in another direction. That being said, sometimes it is just best to excuse yourself. I’ve recommended to MANY people that they just say, “It’s been great seeing you here, but I need to work the room and mingle. Have a great evening.” Then, walk away and don’t look back!
I will share more stories in my next blog. In the meantime, let me assure you that walking into a room full of strangers is a stressful situation for MOST of us! Being prepared for casual conversation – by reading industry magazines and Web sites, being up to date on current events and pop culture, and knowing a little about a lot – will always help. Like a good scout, BE PREPARED! Asking questions of others – from “What did you do this past weekend?” to “Where is your favorite place to go on vacation?” can break the ice faster and more easily than you could ever imagine.
One final tip for this post: If you know your client likes to drink or eat something you don’t – from alcohol to coffee to raw oysters to dessert – bring a coworker with you. Usually, people just don’t want to indulge ALONE. As long as they have at least ONE “partner in crime,” your business lunch should flow incredibly smoothly.
Thanks again to all the attendees at the HP luncheon in Orange County. Your comments and input should keep me busy for quite a while! Thank you for taking the time to answer “Stump the Speaker; Shock the Speaker”!
Are You “Lunch Worthy”?
When it comes to marketing, the future is texting and “permission-based” advertising to attract new business and keep customers on site. Michael Perhaes, Sr. V.P. of Edelman Digital in Chicago, predicts that soon there will be no “traditional” or “digital” marketing, just “marketing.” He recently commented in the Las Vegas Sun on the state of – and various types of – hotel marketing. This combination of traditional and digital marketing, according to Perhaes, is being referred to already as “tradigital.”Inspiring, to say the least.
Reading Michael’s comment reminded me just how much I want to create my own word(s). This desire first came to me when Stephen Colbert invented the word “truthiness” a while ago. I decided I, too, wanted to invent a word. But where to begin….?
Hmmm. Being “The Queen of the Business Lunch,” I thought my word should probably have something to do with the Business Lunch. If I had a dollar for every time I had to type or say “Business Lunch,” I’d have more money than Trump. Don’t think I haven’t considered inventing “blunch.” It’s just that the word itself is, well, unappealing and unappetizing. I’ve used “biz lunch” in the past, but it sounds too hurried, as in “Let’s catch a smoothie after a work out in the gym.”
I could rip of Colbert directly – and talk about “lunchiness.” But what exactly would “lunchiness” mean?
I finally decided upon a phrase, rather than a single word. I’m here to discuss my new phrase: “LUNCH WORTHY”! This works for me, as time today is our greatest resource. If you want me to meet you for lunch, I have to consider taking at least an hour to get ready (now that I work from home, I am not always “lunch ready”!) But that just scratches the surface.
There is the drive to wherever your office is or to the restaurant, if I am not going to pick you up. After SCHLEPPING back and forth across the valley for nearly 20 years, I am incredibly reluctant to drive very far just to have lunch with a colleague or client. Working from home has definitely spoiled me!
Then, there is the preparation. Preparing for a business lunch takes time. I have to get up-to-date on the industry, current events, and so on…. I’m sure you’re getting the picture.
The WORST part about lunch today is that since I’m now dressed up and out and about, I will most likely want to stop at the market on my way home. It’s apparent that a simple 1.5 hour lunch (or my favorite 2+ hour lunch) is going to turn into a 5-hour excursion. Taking 5 hours out of my day means I’ll be sitting here at 11PM, working and making up for lost time.
Are you LUNCH WORTHY? Is having lunch with you going to be so fabulous that it will be well WORTH the five hours it’s going to take? In many cases, it IS worth it. I love to connect with former colleagues and I definitely enjoy work-related business lunches with current clients or prospects. There are also worthwhile industry functions – which are tremendous networking opportunities!
The next time you take someone out to lunch, make sure you have a lot to share. Try to be as LUNCH WORTHY as possible and I bet you’ll see your lunch calendar fill up quickly!
And, if you still can’t spare the time it takes to have a productive, yet leisurely lunch, remember that a coffee or breakfast meeting can always solve your problems. Here is a clip where I explain why coffee is a great substitute for a business lunch.
When Paying for Dinner Becomes a Nightmare…
I had a nightmare last night and I bet you’ve had one that is similar. I dreamed I was at 
dinner with friends – some old friends and a few new ones. The restaurant was noisy – probably not the best choice for a relaxed dinner and conversation, especially when our goal was to get to know each other better.
I’d taken pains to tell everyone (through e-mail) that we had a special guest and that we would all chip in to take care of his meal. The five of us ordered. Some had drinks, some did not. Some ate full meals, some ate salads. The time flew.
Our guest of honor – who is fascinating and tells some of the best stories – hardly got a chance to share his story! Everyone kept interrupting, stories trailed off, the server came by with interruptions in the course of the dinner, and our attempt to go around the table and share our stories never even made it full circle. It was chaotic, but it was still okay as there was never a split second of awkward silence.
As “The Queen of the Business Lunch”, I’ve often had people tell me that they would be too intimidated to eat with me. This makes me laugh. They hold me to a higher standard, thinking I know all the ins and outs of socializing. What they don’t realize is that I’m human, too, and make many mistakes. That is one of the reasons I wrote “The Art of the Business Lunch” - why should we ALL have to make the same mistakes when, instead, you could learn from all the mistakes I’VE made without having to make them yourself?!?
It’s true, I do know more than the average person about etiquette – particularly business etiquette. Being able to execute it, however, can still be challenging. I speak on business etiquette, how to make lively conversation, and even on how to handle the check discreetly. This is particularly helpful when taking clients out. Unfortunately, group events where it’s “each man for himself” still leave me dazed and confused.
In business, I always say that whoever does the inviting should pick up the check. Often times, in order to avoid an embarrassing situation, I’ll pick up a check that is not mine to pick up. One such example happened when I was printing my first book.
My original, self-published book
A printer invited me to lunch. He stood to make a good deal of money off of me. We had a nice lunch and then the check came. And it sat there…and sat there. Finally, I said, “Well, let’s see what we have here.” The printer reached for his wallet and said, “Oh here…let me…get the tip.” HUH? Did he get my printing business? What do you think! He lost a sale for thousands of dollars simply because he invited me to lunch and failed to pick up the check.
But like last night’s conversation, I digress. Back to the dream…
Paying for Dinner - It Doesn't HAVE to Be a Disaster!
The check finally came and it was put in front of me. $235. How was that possible when no one ate anything (or so it seemed!) I attempted to split it five ways. Our guest of honor immediately tossed in $40 – and I forgot that the rest of us had agreed he was to be our guest. One of the new friends said, “I didn’t have anything to drink,” and another friend said, “I didn’t have anything to eat,” though she shared a bottle of wine and had an order of fries AND would have put in extra to cover our guest. And with a built-in gratuity and 8% sales tax, it’s easy for people to miscalculate what they actually owe. Oh – and there was a lovely mix of cash and credit cards to make things even worse!
As I said, I am human – and I panicked! Yes, it can happen. It was late, I was tired, I’d had a glass of wine with dinner and a cocktail before that, so I just wasn’t as sharp as I could have been. No one chipped in the extra, earlier agreed upon money to cover our guest. And another friend who knew we were “going Dutch” but didn’t know we were trying to pick up our guest’s meal, was the only one who ordered a full meal, a cocktail, and shared the bottle of wine, did not put in even enough to cover his share.
BUT THIS IS ALL BESIDE THE POINT! You must NEVER get into a “you had this and she had that” scenario!!! It’s not just a nightmare, but it makes everyone uncomfortable. SO – when people do not pay what they should, what is the solution? The solution is to avoid that situation to begin with!
After waking up with my “nightmare” still fresh in my mind, feeling positively dreadful over how things were settled, I started out today by asking some of my expert sources what they would have done and how they might have handled this. My favorite response was from Phil Robertson, a marketing expert who has experienced similar “nightmare” experiences. Phil said the very best way to handle this is from the moment you sit down together at the table.
Phil said you get everyone’s attention and say, “We are here this evening to get to know and honor our special guest. We are going to split the check evenly – so order whatever you want.” That way, everyone knows going in that they must “pay to play.” They will have a special evening and they will eat and drink what they want (or not), and they will come away enriched and entertained. It’s not about the dinner – it’s about the RELATIONSHIPS!
The reason I like Phil’s suggestion so much is that it not only resolves the whole chaotic scene at the end of the meal, but it also HONORS your guest in the clearest, most upfront way – making them FEEL SPECIAL – which is what I speak on ALL THE TIME! It’s critically important to make others feel special. Not only does Phil’s suggestion single out your guest and make them feel special, but it also makes the REST of the guests there feel special – since they get to share in a special evening. SPECIAL, SPECIAL, SPECIAL – are you seeing a pattern here?
I doubt our guest felt very honored last night, other than by the fact that we showed up. Not only that, but he hardly had a chance to speak at all! Again, a noisy restaurant, interruptions all around, and five type-A personalities can make it hard to get a word in. What a wasted opportunity, hence – a dream dinner became a nightmare. Has this ever happened to you?
At this point, I’m in full damage-control mode. Our guest is in for a special treat – which I am currently working on. I don’t want him to think for a minute that he isn’t special; he is. If he wasn’t, I wouldn’t be the wreck I am today.
One of the other messages I always share is to follow the Scout’s motto: Be Prepared. It’s not surprising that the solution to this situation lies in being prepared – making an announcement, avoiding the situation to begin with. Success expert Napoleon Hill said, “In every adversity, there lies the seed of greater advantage.” I have a new story for my presentations, I uncovered great advice for others (since I’m not the ONLY person this happens to), and hopefully, my guest will know the depth of concern for him and his feelings by this self-deprecating blog.
On the bright side, being able to learn from our mistakes makes us that much sharper and savvy the NEXT time we encounter an opportunity to grow.