Robin Jay » Award-Winning Author & Speaker

Dying for a Great Business Lunch?

Robin Jay — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 07:30:59 +0000

I just had to share. I spoke recently for HP in Southern California, to a wonderful group of their printer resellers and partners. One of the guests was really inspired. Really. Working with Cristine McMillan at NetQuest and Eileen Angel with HP was a great experience. They encourage a fun, creative environment. And, they do a LOT to build solid relationships with their HP partners. Their guests enjoyed a fabulous lunch at Fleming’s during my presentation.

Carol decorated her cubicle with a business lunch fit for even the oldest executives!

I was so grateful when they forwarded these photos of Carol McAloney, an HP IPG Champion, who took my message to heart this Halloween. I guess there is NEVER a bad time for a great business lunch! I was only upset that as the QUEEN of the Business Lunch, I didn’t think of this first! Great job, Carol – I will remember this forever.

Check out the photos closely and you’ll see this happy couple is dining on roasted cockroach, finger-ling potatoes, (made with real fingers!), blood red wine, and the table is adorned with black roses. Of course, my book – “The Art of the Business Lunch, Building Relationships Between 12 and 2″ – is handy in case the mr. or ms. need to quick-check their etiquette!

It’s incredible that several people to whom I showed this photograph said, “I think I’ve eaten in that restaurant….the service is SO SLOW!” Hilarious. Here’s a close up of the fabulous business lunch for two.

Special thanks to Carol, Eileen, and Cristine. It’s a pleasure to work with such CREATIVE, imaginative, and fun professionals! Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween!

Ever felt like service was THIS slow?

It’s Hard to Stump ‘The Queen of the Business Lunch’!

Robin Jay — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 07:10:06 +0000

I got to speak to an outstanding group of professionals this week – printer resellers and distributors for HP. Since the program was for several hours and included lunch, I conceived an exercise to keep everyone engaged during the actual meal.

I passed out forms asking what was the WORST thing that had ever happened to them during a business lunch, how they might have been able to handle the situation better, and to add any other challenges they may have at networking or business events.

Since I’ve been speaking on “The Art of the Business Lunch” and building relationships for nearly 10 years now, and have YET to be stumped, I thought this would really be fun. The afternoon flew by, however, and I did not have the opportunity to go over the comments I received. Hence, I wanted to share the responses here … in a blog or two.

Here goes …

Never Draw Attention to Something Bad!

One of my favorite stories came from a rep walked into a restaurant with a client. About 15 minutes later, he pointed out a distracting couple that was making out at their table. Turned out to be his client’s husband and his mistress. When asked what he might have done differently, his only comment was that he should have asked this lady out after her divorce. Apparently, she’d “cleaned her husband’s clock” in the divorce. She got such a grand settlement, she quit her job and hasn’t worked since. I GUESS you could call that a happy ending?!

Another executive actually left his wallet at home. As for handling the situation better? He said he should have rescheduled his meeting for another day. I think that would have been a terrific solution – IF he wasn’t able to borrow $100 from a friend or swing by his house before lunch. BTW, I told him a story from my book about a sales rep who consistently “left his wallet at home” as a means of getting his clients to pick up the check. The buyers, who talk amongst each other, got wise and never fell for this again.

It's Easy to Get Away From a "Jerk" When at Networking Events

One of the professionals said he had a hard time acting interested in other peoples’ stories while at networking events. We’ve ALL been stuck in boring conversations and being prepared for casual conversation can certainly help us to steer a conversation in another direction. That being said, sometimes it is just best to excuse yourself. I’ve recommended to MANY people that they just say, “It’s been great seeing you here, but I need to work the room and mingle. Have a great evening.” Then, walk away and don’t look back!

I will share more stories in my next blog. In the meantime, let me assure you that walking into a room full of strangers is a stressful situation for MOST of us! Being prepared for casual conversation – by reading industry magazines and Web sites, being up to date on current events and pop culture, and knowing a little about a lot – will always help. Like a good scout, BE PREPARED! Asking questions of others – from “What did you do this past weekend?” to “Where is your favorite place to go on vacation?” can break the ice faster and more easily than you could ever imagine.

One final tip for this post: If you know your client likes to drink or eat something you don’t – from alcohol to coffee to raw oysters to dessert – bring a coworker with you. Usually, people just don’t want to indulge ALONE. As long as they have at least ONE “partner in crime,” your business lunch should flow incredibly smoothly.

Thanks again to all the attendees at the HP luncheon in Orange County. Your comments and input should keep me busy for quite a while! Thank you for taking the time to answer “Stump the Speaker; Shock the Speaker”!

How Much Love Can You Share?

Robin Jay — Tue, 10 May 2011 08:00:48 +0000

I’m fortunate to work in the field of personal development because I can get away with spreading love, joy, and positive messages without raising too many eyebrows. Even if others don’t EXPECT me to be a bit “over the top” … they certainly aren’t surprised when they get to experience a little unexpected “love” or appreciation.

Does LOVE have a place in business?

By sharing the love, I simply mean spreading positive energy – whether that means signing an email with “Love, Robin” or “I love how you’re wearing your hair,” or “I love when we get to meet for lunch!”

Is it appropriate to sign an email, “Much love”? Definitely, if you are writing to friends. But what about when you are writing to a business associate, client, or coworker? What is too much? Can you share the joy and let people know just how much you care about them – even if your relationship is relatively new? And, if you’re dealing with someone you DON’T like as much, can sharing some love help to soften their edges?

I think the answer lies in your own comfort zone. Ask yourself how YOU would feel if someone signed an email to you the same way YOU want to sign YOUR emails. In dealing with the EXPERTS who are going to appear in the movie I’m producing, “The Keeper of the Keys,” I often sign my emails with “Much love” or “Sending Love Your Way.”

My friend Julie Neil used to sign all her e-mails (from work) “Hugs, Julie”. Guess what? Whenever I saw her, I got a hug. I knew when she signed her e-mails “Hugs” – she meant it! I ran into her recently at Trader Joe’s and – you guessed it – I got a great hug. Love you, Julie. And I loved all those sweet hugs – even when we were negotiating dollars and advertising schedules. Julie was a master at spreading and sharing the LOVE!

I admit I am MUCH MORE reserved with new, conservative relationships. But it usually doesn’t take long before I’m sharing and caring. Once I feel comfortable, and I believe you will appreciate it, I’ll send some love your way. As Jackie DeShannon sang, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.”

Even if you have to be a bit more formal or reserved, you can still share love and joy as you go about your day. Offer compliments instead of criticisms. Offer a helping hand instead of complaining. Smile. Give hugs or hearty handshakes. And be sure to tell people just how much you appreciate them. You never know how long they will be here.

NOTE: I lost a friend yesterday – Randy Fleitz. His death from a heart attack was unexpected; he ran on the treadmill regularly and stayed in shape. We golfed together a few times – in charity tournaments and for business. He was hilarious. I can picture him on the links and can remember most of his funny comments.

Randy was my client, first at the Golden Nugget, then later at the Mirage. By the time we’d done a promotional ad campaign, we were friends. A round of golf cemented that. After I retired from selling advertising, I would see him occasionally around town.

Randy was younger than I. He had a family. I always knew him to be a VERY hard-working professional. And he was KIND – a fairly RARE quality among high-pressured casino executives. I remember about 15 years ago (or was it more like 18?), my step-brother James was visiting from Ohio. We sat at CPK/Mirage having lunch. Randy happened to come by. After introducing him to James, we spoke for a bit and then he went about his business.

James ate his lunch while he watched Agassi play tennis. He was mesmerized by the wide assortment of sporting events that filled the monitors in the sports book a few feet away. James said, “There is NOTHING like this in Cleveland!” (a line I often shared with my clients; we needed to remember how our fabulous strip is seen in the eyes of our visitors!) But that paled in comparison to how impressed he was when we discovered our lunch had been comped. James thought his big sister was really a big cheese, since I was friends with a boss at the Mirage. Randy, I’ll never forget that kindness.

I hope you have a tee time with your dad this week, and I hope you play well. You will be dearly missed by many here. Much love to you Randy, much love.

How Come I Don’t Weigh 300 Pounds?

Robin Jay — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 07:42:01 +0000

There is a Conspiracy to Make Americans Fat

Whenever I speak to a group as “The Queen of the Business Lunch” and share that I have personally hosted more than 3,000 client lunches, I invariably get asked, “Robin Jay, how come you don’t weigh 300 pounds?!” I try to get a laugh with my answer: “Because I order the FISH!” It works; my audience members shake their heads knowing that ordering fish is a healthy choice. But the truth goes much, much deeper than that.

When I was busy racking up those 3,000 meals, I was also racking up time at the gym. In fact, at one point, I actually had three gym memberships AND worked out with a trainer at his facility! Whenever my lunch date would cancel, I would pop into the nearest of those four locations and get in a workout. Plus, I have a full gym at home. As my dad always says, “Calories in minus calories burned equals weight gained or lost.” There is no magic formula. But THAT is boring as hell, right? Want to hear something you probably HAVEN’T heard before?

What if I told you that there is a conspiracy that is working to pack pounds on you, your family, and your friends? In fact, ALL AMERICANS are at risk of becoming obese! And, believing that knowledge is power, I’m here to EMPOWER you.

I was recently enjoying a low-carb meal with my friend Andrew Klebanow. The information he shared with me was so startling, I knew I HAD to share it here with you – my faithful blog readers!

Andrew is Principal of Gaming Market Advisors

I’ve known Andrew for more than 20 years; as a former client when I sold advertising to the Las Vegas tourism & gaming industry, he accounted for a few of those 3,000 client lunches I hosted. Today, Andrew is a Principal of Gaming Market Advisors and is one of the foremost authorities on the gaming industry. He is a regular speaker at gaming expos and his expertise in the industry is outstanding, as is evidenced by his company’s IMPRESSIVE client list. Andrew’s research on behalf of his gaming clients has led him to some incredible discoveries about our FOOD INDUSTRIES!

Andrew is often called upon to deal with the opposition that arises when casino owners plan future developments. Any public debate on the pros and cons of casino development brings up the topic of problem gambling and its economic and social costs on the host community. (Bear with me – we’re getting to the FAT in just a sec; this is as exciting as a novel – you’ll see!)

These debates are frequently led by those who are morally opposed to casino gambling. It is Andrew’s task to clarify what problem gambling is, explore its prevalence in society, and compare its social and economic costs to other forms of aberrant behavior caused by what many see as more benign industries. Are you STARTING to see the connection? (NOTE: If you’d like an in-depth definition of what defines a “problem gambler,” just let me know and I’ll forward it to you.)

In 1999, the U. S. National Gambling Impact Study Commission (NGISC) reported that the percentage of U.S. adults classified as pathological gamblers is about 1.4%. Even as gaming development has grown considerably, the rate of problem gambling has remained fairly constant. The NGISC also reported that pathological gambling often occurs in conjunction with other behavioral problems, including substance abuse and personality disorders. The gaming industry has and continues to support initiatives that educate and treat problem gambling. (Just walk through any casino and you’ll see information regarding problem gambling posted everywhere!)

Other industries, however, have been far slower to embrace the costs that their products and services impose upon society yet, communities rarely raise a sign of protest against them.

In August of 2010, the U.S. Center for Disease Control issued a report stating that 27% of the U.S. population (72.5 million Americans) are now classified as obese. Unlike problem gambling, where the costs on society are hard to measure, obesity has some very real and significant costs.

Obesity Costs America Billions Each Year

On average, an obese person incurs $1,400 more a year in medical costs than a person of normal weight. The U.S. Center for Disease Control report estimates the costs to U.S. society at $147 billion a year. And unlike problem gambling, whose physical effects are for the most part, unknown, obesity is known to lead to heart disease, stroke, diabetes, cancer and premature death.

CONSPIRACY? Unless you are aware of what is in EVERYTHING you put in your mouth, you are doomed to a life of obesity, constantly battling your weight. I LOVE eating out – and prefer restaurants that offer fresh fish (and I’m not kidding now!) as well as lean, grilled steaks, big salads, and even cocktails and wine. I have plowed my way through 1.5 pounds of crab legs with a filet on the side in a single sitting! I have a hearty appetite, but I am extremely careful about what I eat and am aware of hidden salt, fat, and sugar – the “trilogy of triple bypass”! These three ingredients are often disguised and hidden in seemingly DELICIOUS, healthy food – from tender chicken to glazed veggies, as well as the more obvious desserts or fried foods.

U.S. agricultural policy subsidizes the production of corn, soybean and other commodities that are the raw ingredients of many foods linked to obesity. Cattle and hogs are fed feed made from corn. High-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) is the primary sweetener in soft drinks. Due to the public’s growing awareness of the dangers of HFCS, the Corn Refiners Association has decided to change the name of HFCS to “Corn Sugar“! Golly Gee – THAT sure sounds like a healthier choice! Along with Corn Sugar, a myriad of other products are produced from raw agricultural ingredients whose production is subsidized by taxpayers.

Do kids today even stand a CHANCE of growing up healthy?

Agricultural subsidies have the net effect of reducing the costs of food production and allowing food manufacturers, restaurant companies, and fast food chains to increase portion size while reducing food costs. Any attempt to reduce these subsidies to U.S. farmers is summarily blocked by politicians from agriculture states and lobbyists who represent agricultural interests.

Recognizing the obesity epidemic, both the U.S. federal government and state governments have explored a number of initiatives to limit consumption, including
instituting a tax on sugary soft drinks. Rather than address its role in combating the obesity epidemic, the soft drink industry has opposed any such measures at every level of government. The American Beverage Association, an industry lobbying group, characterized the tax as a “money grab” and has advocated that a tax on sugary soft drinks would affect low income consumers the most. So far, their efforts have succeeded in preventing governments from imposing such a tax.

The U.S. restaurant industry has likewise refused to take steps that might limit consumption. It has opposed posting calorie counts on menus or taking any other measure that might inform consumers of the hazards associated with their products.THIS IS WHY IT’S CRITICAL THAT YOU BECOME YOUR OWN HEALTH ADVOCATE! NO ONE, NOT THE GOVERNMENT OR THE GROWERS OR THE FOOD PRODUCT MANUFACTURERS ARE GOING TO HELP YOU! Discover all you can about nutrition and the food you are consuming – PLEASE! I want you to be around for a long time and enjoy a healthy life.

Instead of warning you of any food/health hazards, restaurant companies continue to develop recipes that encourage increased consumption of calories. They employ food chemists, test kitchens and market researchers to develop products that consumers want and crave, regardless what consumption of those products will have on their customers’ health and society as a whole. Restaurant companies and food manufacturers have essentially adopted strategies developed by the tobacco industry, which is to deny their responsibility to the epidemic and oppose policies that would limit or tax consumption.

Smoking & Obesity - KNOWN Health Risks!

(It is common knowledge now that for over a half century, U.S. tobacco companies denied that their products were unhealthy – and even funded scientific studies to support their claims. Only in the face of overwhelming scientific evidence have tobacco companies modified those strategies. Nevertheless, tobacco companies continue to lobby against initiatives, such as bans on indoor smoking that would restrict exposure to second-hand smoke. Today roughly 20% of adults smoke and their costs, both social and economic, are a significant burden on society.)

Remember that Andrew, who armed me with all this data about tax breaks and subsidies, was never out to indict the food or tobacco industries … and neither am I. My goal in sharing this information with you is to make you aware that unless you are eating barely processed, fresh ingredients, you are taking a risk with your health.

Andrew’s argument is sealed when he offers the following numbers that put problem gambling in perspective:

1.4% (the percent of adults who are problem gamblers),
27%(the percent of adults who are obese), and
20%(the percent of adults who smoke).

Problem gambling is real and the casino industry acknowledges it, but its impact on society and on the lives of Americans is relatively small when compared to obesity and tobacco use.

As we approach a new year and our traditional New Year’s resolutions, I hope you will resolve to become more educated about what you are eating and make choices that will lead you to a healthier lifestyle, one that includes exercise. Take care of yourself so that you will live a long time and enjoy an outstanding quality of life.

Are You “Lunch Worthy”?

Robin Jay — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 05:46:06 +0000

When it comes to marketing, the future is texting and “permission-based” advertising to attract new business and keep customers on site. Michael Perhaes, Sr. V.P. of Edelman Digital in Chicago, predicts that soon there will be no “traditional” or “digital” marketing, just “marketing.” He recently commented in the Las Vegas Sun on the state of – and various types of – hotel marketing. This combination of traditional and digital marketing, according to Perhaes, is being referred to already as “tradigital.”Inspiring, to say the least.

Reading Michael’s comment reminded me just how much I want to create my own word(s). This desire first came to me when Stephen Colbert invented the word “truthiness” a while ago. I decided I, too, wanted to invent a word. But where to begin….?

Hmmm. Being “The Queen of the Business Lunch,” I thought my word should probably have something to do with the Business Lunch. If I had a dollar for every time I had to type or say “Business Lunch,” I’d have more money than Trump. Don’t think I haven’t considered inventing “blunch.” It’s just that the word itself is, well, unappealing and unappetizing. I’ve used “biz lunch” in the past, but it sounds too hurried, as in “Let’s catch a smoothie after a work out in the gym.”

I could rip of Colbert directly – and talk about “lunchiness.” But what exactly would “lunchiness” mean?

I finally decided upon a phrase, rather than a single word. I’m here to discuss my new phrase: “LUNCH WORTHY”! This works for me, as time today is our greatest resource. If you want me to meet you for lunch, I have to consider taking at least an hour to get ready (now that I work from home, I am not always “lunch ready”!) But that just scratches the surface.

There is the drive to wherever your office is or to the restaurant, if I am not going to pick you up. After SCHLEPPING back and forth across the valley for nearly 20 years, I am incredibly reluctant to drive very far just to have lunch with a colleague or client. Working from home has definitely spoiled me!

Then, there is the preparation. Preparing for a business lunch takes time. I have to get up-to-date on the industry, current events, and so on…. I’m sure you’re getting the picture.

The WORST part about lunch today is that since I’m now dressed up and out and about, I will most likely want to stop at the market on my way home. It’s apparent that a simple 1.5 hour lunch (or my favorite 2+ hour lunch) is going to turn into a 5-hour excursion. Taking 5 hours out of my day means I’ll be sitting here at 11PM, working and making up for lost time.

Are you LUNCH WORTHY? Is having lunch with you going to be so fabulous that it will be well WORTH the five hours it’s going to take? In many cases, it IS worth it. I love to connect with former colleagues and I definitely enjoy work-related business lunches with current clients or prospects. There are also worthwhile industry functions – which are tremendous networking opportunities!

The next time you take someone out to lunch, make sure you have a lot to share. Try to be as LUNCH WORTHY as possible and I bet you’ll see your lunch calendar fill up quickly!

And, if you still can’t spare the time it takes to have a productive, yet leisurely lunch, remember that a coffee or breakfast meeting can always solve your problems. Here is a clip where I explain why coffee is a great substitute for a business lunch.

I’ll Be Speaking @ PCMA Meeting This Week!

Robin Jay — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 17:34:10 +0000

Professional Convention Management Association Chapter Meeting, 10/7

Thursday morning, October 7th, I’ll be speaking at the Southwestern/Pacific chapter meeting of PCMA: Professional Convention Management Association. I’d like to send special thanks to Gina Mann at the Las Vegas Convention Vistors Authority for recommending me as this month’s speaker. The breakfast will be held at the South Point Hotel & Casino at 8AM.

I’ll be presenting “B FACE 2 FACE 4 SUCCESS” - a 60-minute keynote presentation on building EFFECTIVE & PRODUCTIVE business relationships that will include suggestions that you will be able to implement IMMEDIATELY to increase your sales and improve your bottom line. This presentation is built upon the lessons I discovered while building relationships during my sales career, which I shared in my first book, “The Art of the Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 and 2.” My experience during nearly 20 years of sales and my ability to build such incredible relationships is why my clients started calling me “The Queen of the Business Lunch”.

A strong ability to build relationships can assure your success – whatever field you are in. WHY? Because PEOPLE PREFER TO DO BUSINESS WITH PEOPLE THEY LIKE! Your parents were wrong: success in life actually IS a popularity contest! After all – who wants to hang out with or do business with people they DON’T LIKE?! When you look at it this way, it makes sense: to succeed, you need to develop your PEOPLE SKILLS.

People have choices – and when it comes to business, they are even more likely to take advantage of their options … especially in THIS competitive environment. No business decision is ever JUST about price!

When I deliver this presentation, I ask my audiences for a show of hands to

The feedback I get when presenting supports my doctrine: PEOPLE PREFER TO DO BUSINESS WITH PEOPLE THEY LIKE!

indicate how many people REGULARLY go OUT OF THEIR WAY to patronize a particular business because they PREFER how they are treated at the more inconvenient location than at a similar business closer to their homes. I ALWAYS get 100% response! That supports my point: your people skills can improve your business or destroy it. It’s not that hard to build solid, productive business relationships. I’ll be sharing tips and techniques so that you, too, can become a Business Relationship Expert! Hope to see you there.

Get Paid to Speak & Write: Workshop 10/9/10

Robin Jay — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 06:56:59 +0000

Speaking at last week's MPI Meeting in Edmonton

To say I’m behind on my blogging is an understatement! Even now, with so much I want to share here, I still feel as if I should be doing something else – like PPTs for next week, press releases, or new one sheets. Marketing yourself as a speaker has no finish line! That’s just one of the topics I will cover at my workshop - “Get Paid to Speak & Write” - on October 9th – in Las Vegas/Henderson at the Hampton Inn on St. Rose Pkwy – between Eastern and Seven Hills. Read to the bottom for a personal story that’s sure to crack you up!

People ALWAYS tell me they are working on a book or they call me to tell me they want to speak professionally. I hope everyone who has ever thought of being a speaker or a writer will to come to this one-day event. Along with my expert guest speakers, I will help you to move years ahead in your speaking career in one action-packed, entertaining day. You will discover what it takes to succeed and MONETIZE a speaking or writing career.

You may wonder why I am presenting SPEAKING and WRITING together. It’s because the two go together like soup n’ sandwich, hand n’ glove, peanut butter n’ jelly…. you get the picture! If you are a speaker, you need products to sell – books, audios CDs, Mp3s, Video programs, and more – so that people can take your message with them and continue to learn and improve. And, if you are a writer, you need to learn to share your message with an audience in a brilliant, cohesive presentation. Doing one without the other is like peanut butter….all by itself. As president of a speakers bureau in Las Vegas, the convention capital of the world, I know what it takes to be a great speaker.

As an award-winning author, I’ve experienced everything the world of publishing has to offer. If you’re working on a book and need to decide whether or not to self-publish, I can help you to decide by sharing the facts of the publishing world with you. I’ve self-published, sold my work, contributed to anthologies, published anthologies, and am a regularly featured columnist in the Las Vegas Business Press. I know the world of professional writing and can help you get your book published or help you to market your book.

Visit my press release at expert click for all the details – then call or e-mail me to register. BONUS: Those of you who know me well know that I love to give more than expected. That’s why I asked my friend LuAnn Terrell – at Showtime Marketing – if she would donate some killer show tickets for my attendees. She came through with tix to HUMAN NATURE – Smokey Robinson’s hot new show featuring four smokin’ guys from down under singing the very best of MOTOWN – on the Las Vegas Strip. Tix are regularly $70 each – but each attendee will get a PAIR of tickets when they attend this workshop. AND every attendee will also get a FREE copy of “The Power of the Platform” – an anthology that features messages from some of today’s top motivational speakers.

Why wait? Sign up now and get started on the path to achieving your dream of GETTING PAID TO SPEAK!

Now, here’s my personal story: Every time I get a check for THOUSANDS of dollars to speak for an hour, I call my brother, Barry. When I was a little girl, Barry used to give me a quarter just to STOP talking for a few minutes! Ahhh- sweet revenge! The truth is, however, that I owe him a debt of thanks. If he hadn’t been so hard on me, I don’t know that I ever would have learned how to make my stories more exciting, more compelling, and more content-rich. Nothing like having a hard-to-please audience to raise the stakes! And now you know my darkest secret.

If YOU would like to show someone a check for thousands of dollars that you earned for speaking, be sure to e-mail me to register for this outstanding one-day workshop. It will TRANSFORM your life!

Etiquette FUN for Client Lunches OR Dinner with Friends

Robin Jay — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 05:27:51 +0000

Louise and Barry Berlin share a laugh with me at a big restaurant opening recently.

I had a few friends over for dinner last night, including my friends Barry and Louise Berlin. Louise asked if it is okay to use your bread as a “pusher” – as in using it to push the salad onto your fork.

She was surprised when I ran to my bookshelf to retrieve my copy of “Etiquette for Dummies.” I explained that I went to a source because while I was quite certain I knew the answer, I really wanted to be sure … and when it comes to this particular question, I remembered that there are actually several different answers! That’s the thing about etiquette – different behaviors apply to different situations. MOST of these variations are simply based on the differences between formal and casual settings; bread as a pusher is no exception!

I was able to share with Louise and another friend, Edy, that in a CASUAL setting, it’s okay to use your bread as a PUSHER! BUT – in a more formal setting, it is not. No wonder I couldn’t remember!

Pick up a copy and be sure you're on the right track!

It’s funny to me that many people are often too intimidated to dine with me. I try to put them at ease by explaining that I was only able to write my book, “The Art of the Business Lunch” because I had already made every mistake there is to make; why not learn from my experiences? Why must we make every mistake ourselves? But I do know a lot when it comes to etiquette … I even speak on it!

So, where does the FUN come in? We started reading all about bread at the dinner table – how to pass it (to the right), how to take a slice (using the napkin to hold the loaf while you tear off a slice), and how you must put butter on your dish and then butter your bread; never take butter directly from the community plate and put it on your bread.

I think it’s fascinating to read about etiquette and discover all the little nuances that add grace to a client lunch or business dinner. If you’ve ever wondered about exactly what to do, pick up a copy of an etiquette book. You’ll really find it enjoyable and some of the tips are sure to surprise you!

How Do You Ask a Client to Lunch?

Robin Jay — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 01:46:45 +0000

A Gift Bag - Always a Great Attention-getter!

You are ready to invite a really BIG client out to lunch. You have the perfect “power lunch” spot picked out. You have your corporate expense account ready to roll. You just can’t figure out the best way to invite a client to lunch. You are not alone!

Seems many executives choke a bit when it comes to inviting a client out to lunch … and the bigger the client, the more anxiety about lunch. It’s really easy to invite a client to a business lunch – and you are only limited by your own creativity. I’m saving the VERY best method till the end – but don’t skip ahead. If you do, you’ll miss some great ways to get creative!

Imagine an executive’s secretary walks into his or her office around 11AM,

You call THIS lunch?!

and sets a shiny gift bag on the exec’s desk. “This came for you just now.” Inside the shiny bag, the executive finds a brown paper bag. In the bag is a square, sandwich-sized container with a VERY dull sandwich inside – perhaps two slices of plain white bread with a single piece of American cheese between them or a classic PBJ, and an apple.

Written on the outside of the lunch bag in black marker, a note reads: “You call THIS lunch? Meet me at The Palm next week for a steak! ~ Robin Jay.” Your business card is stapled to the top of the bag. Really … who could resist an invitation like THAT?!

A stunt like this is over-the-top – but wouldn’t YOU love it if someone went to that much trouble to invite YOU to lunch? I know I would!

If you want a more subdued method for asking a client to lunch, a written invitation can work, though be careful you don’t come across as desperate! Sometimes, in today’s fast-paced business world, catering to old-fashioned methods might make you seem out-of-date; send a quick text message invitation – “When can I take you out to lunch?” – and you might seem insincere or uncaring. It can be challenging, indeed!

You can always just pick up the phone ~

There is always the phone call. Be direct … and be friendly. Now that I’m an entrepreneur, one of my pet peeves is people calling who 1. Don’t identify themselves IMMEDIATELY, and 2. Don’t get to the purpose of their call directly. If I don’t know you, why would I want to go to lunch with you?

Remember W.I.I.F.M.!!! What Is In It For ME?! I don’t get to socialize with my dear friends as much as I would like – so for me to make the time to have a lunch with a stranger, there had better be a good reason.

“Breakfast is the New Lunch”! …or shall I say, “Coffee is Quicker”!

A coffee date can be "Outta This World!"

If you want to BUILD a relationship with someone by asking them to break bread with you, you might have an easier time getting them to say “yes” by making it easy FOR THEM. Coffee is fast. Meet them near their office.

BEST OF ALL: The VERY BEST way to invite a client to a business lunch is to find someone who PERSONALLY KNOWS YOUR PROSPECT. Ask THEM if they wouldn’t mind setting up a lunch date. Tell them lunch is on you. This “Middle Man” of sorts knows both of you. They will probably be delighted to help you arrange a meeting. And – of course – they will get to enjoy a wonderful free lunch!

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS: Network, network, network! EVERY time you attend a networking event, you will meet at least 10 people who each know at least 10 people … and so on. Ask around. Find someone who knows the people you want to get to know.

Remember: An INTRODUCTION is the VERY best way to meet someone new. If you can arrange an introduction, asking clients to lunch will be the easiest thing you’ve ever done.