I got to speak to an outstanding group of professionals this week – printer resellers and distributors for HP. Since the program was for several hours and included lunch, I conceived an exercise to keep everyone engaged during the actual meal.

I passed out forms asking what was the WORST thing that had ever happened to them during a business lunch, how they might have been able to handle the situation better, and to add any other challenges they may have at networking or business events.

Since I’ve been speaking on “The Art of the Business Lunch” and building relationships for nearly 10 years now, and have YET to be stumped, I thought this would really be fun. The afternoon flew by, however, and I did not have the opportunity to go over the comments I received. Hence, I wanted to share the responses here … in a blog or two.

Here goes …

Never Draw Attention to Something Bad!

One of my favorite stories came from a rep walked into a restaurant with a client. About 15 minutes later, he pointed out a distracting couple that was making out at their table. Turned out to be his client’s husband and his mistress. When asked what he might have done differently, his only comment was that he should have asked this lady out after her divorce. Apparently, she’d “cleaned her husband’s clock” in the divorce. She got such a grand settlement, she quit her job and hasn’t worked since. I GUESS you could call that a happy ending?!

Another executive actually left his wallet at home. As for handling the situation better? He said he should have rescheduled his meeting for another day. I think that would have been a terrific solution – IF he wasn’t able to borrow $100 from a friend or swing by his house before lunch. BTW, I told him a story from my book about a sales rep who consistently “left his wallet at home” as a means of getting his clients to pick up the check. The buyers, who talk amongst each other, got wise and never fell for this again.

It's Easy to Get Away From a "Jerk" When at Networking Events

One of the professionals said he had a hard time acting interested in other peoples’ stories while at networking events. We’ve ALL been stuck in boring conversations and being prepared for casual conversation can certainly help us to steer a conversation in another direction. That being said, sometimes it is just best to excuse yourself. I’ve recommended to MANY people that they just say, “It’s been great seeing you here, but I need to work the room and mingle. Have a great evening.” Then, walk away and don’t look back!

I will share more stories in my next blog. In the meantime, let me assure you that walking into a room full of strangers is a stressful situation for MOST of us! Being prepared for casual conversation – by reading industry magazines and Web sites, being up to date on current events and pop culture, and knowing a little about a lot – will always help. Like a good scout, BE PREPARED! Asking questions of others – from “What did you do this past weekend?” to “Where is your favorite place to go on vacation?” can break the ice faster and more easily than you could ever imagine.

One final tip for this post: If you know your client likes to drink or eat something you don’t – from alcohol to coffee to raw oysters to dessert – bring a coworker with you. Usually, people just don’t want to indulge ALONE. As long as they have at least ONE “partner in crime,” your business lunch should flow incredibly smoothly.

Thanks again to all the attendees at the HP luncheon in Orange County. Your comments and input should keep me busy for quite a while! Thank you for taking the time to answer “Stump the Speaker; Shock the Speaker”!

When it comes to marketing, the future is texting and “permission-based” advertising to attract new business and keep customers on site. Michael Perhaes, Sr. V.P. of Edelman Digital in Chicago, predicts that soon there will be no “traditional” or “digital” marketing, just “marketing.” He recently commented in the Las Vegas Sun on the state of – and various types of – hotel marketing. This combination of traditional and digital marketing, according to Perhaes, is being referred to already as “tradigital.”Inspiring, to say the least.

Reading Michael’s comment reminded me just how much I want to create my own word(s). This desire first came to me when Stephen Colbert invented the word “truthiness” a while ago. I decided I, too, wanted to invent a word. But where to begin….?

Hmmm. Being “The Queen of the Business Lunch,” I thought my word should probably have something to do with the Business Lunch. If I had a dollar for every time I had to type or say “Business Lunch,” I’d have more money than Trump. Don’t think I haven’t considered inventing “blunch.” It’s just that the word itself is, well, unappealing and unappetizing.  I’ve used “biz lunch” in the past, but it sounds too hurried, as in “Let’s catch a smoothie after a work out in the gym.”

I could rip of Colbert directly – and talk about “lunchiness.” But what exactly would “lunchiness” mean?

I finally decided upon a phrase, rather than a single word. I’m here to discuss my new phrase: “LUNCH WORTHY”! This works for me, as time today is our greatest resource. If you want me to meet you for lunch, I have to consider taking at least an hour to get ready (now that I work from home, I am not always “lunch ready”!) But that just scratches the surface.

There is the drive to wherever your office is or to the restaurant, if I am not going to pick you up. After SCHLEPPING back and forth across the valley for nearly 20 years, I am incredibly reluctant to drive very far just to have lunch with a colleague or client. Working from home has definitely spoiled me!

Then, there is the preparation. Preparing for a business lunch takes time. I have to get up-to-date on the industry, current events, and so on…. I’m sure you’re getting the picture.

The WORST part about lunch today is that since I’m now dressed up and out and about, I will most likely want to stop at the market on my way home. It’s apparent that a simple 1.5 hour lunch (or my favorite 2+ hour lunch) is going to turn into a 5-hour excursion. Taking 5 hours out of my day means I’ll be sitting here at 11PM, working and making up for lost time.

Are you LUNCH WORTHY? Is having lunch with you going to be so fabulous that it will be well WORTH the five hours it’s going to take? In many cases, it IS worth it. I love to connect with former colleagues and I definitely enjoy work-related business lunches with current clients or prospects. There are also worthwhile industry functions – which are tremendous networking opportunities!

The next time you take someone out to lunch, make sure you have a lot to share. Try to be as LUNCH WORTHY as possible and I bet you’ll see your lunch calendar fill up quickly!

And, if you still can’t spare the time it takes to have a productive, yet leisurely lunch, remember that a coffee or breakfast meeting can always solve your problems. Here is a clip where I explain why coffee is a great substitute for a business lunch.

Even a "Queen" needs a new logo once in a while!

I often get asked about my nickname, “The Queen of the Business Lunch.” It’s been years since I wrote the award-winning book “The Art of the Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 and 2″ and even longer since I earned my nickname. I thought since I just got a new logo, I would take this opportunity to share some of my business lunch tips and business relationship expertise.

First, the nickname. It came about as a combination of many things. The nature of my business was such that I merely needed to stay in touch with many of my clients. Once I sold them, they were sold, so I didn’t need to do any more convincing. By the nature of my work, all I could do was take them out to lunch, build my relationships, keep them up-to-date on what was going on with my business and our industry, their industry, and so on. What better way to do this than over lunch?

I took great care of my clients, and since I had so many of them, I would book lunches weeks in advance. This of course meant that I, too, was booked weeks out. Friends in the business would call me to book lunch. “How about next Tuesday.” “Can’t…I’m booked already.” You can imagine how long it would take to find a “free” day!

It wasn’t unusual for me to be booked as much as three or four weeks out. And THAT is when the name calling started. My peers would tease me and say, “You don’t really work … You are just the Queen of the Business Lunch!” I took great offense at this, at first! I worked VERY hard. It’s never easy to make something LOOK easy. Of course my friend were just teasing. They knew how much business I was booking and that it didn’t happen by itself.

That is why I wrote “The Art of the Business Lunch.” I had hosted more than 3,000 client lunches (do that math – at a conservative 4x a week (considering business breakfasts, mixers, and lunches combined), times 52 weeks a year, times 18 years…) and I saw my sales increase by more than 2,000%! I knew I was on to something. I wanted to share my Business Relationship Expertise with business professionals everywhere.

Here are some quick tips:

• Always make a reservation.
• Don’t skip lunch; if you’re crunched for time, meet your clients for breakfast! You’ll save money, too.
• Prepare for casual conversation. Avoid awkward silence by knowing a little about a lot.
• Choose a restaurant with a great menu, lots of selections, and a medium price – unless it’s a special occasion.
• If you can wait, don’t bring up the subject of business until AFTER everyone has eaten. We tend to be more receptive to new ideas on a full stomach.

For more tips, click the RSS link to subscribe to my blog, or click the products menu button at www.RobinJay.com or Amazon.com to order “The Art of the Business Lunch.” Remember – how you behave while at a business lunch can MAKE or BREAK a deal! Don’t risk it – stack the deck in your favor by being prepared.

WHY is the Business Lunch SO IMPORTANT? Watch this quick video to discover the answer….

Louise and Barry Berlin share a laugh with me at a big restaurant opening recently.

I had a few friends over for dinner last night, including my friends Barry and Louise Berlin. Louise asked if it is okay to use your bread as a “pusher” – as in using it to push the salad onto your fork.

She was surprised when I ran to my bookshelf to retrieve my copy of “Etiquette for Dummies.” I explained that I went to a source because while I was quite certain I knew the answer, I really wanted to be sure … and when it comes to this particular question, I remembered that there are actually several different answers!  That’s the thing about etiquette – different behaviors apply to different situations. MOST of these variations are simply based on the differences between formal and casual settings; bread as a pusher is no exception!

I was able to share with Louise and another friend, Edy, that in a CASUAL setting, it’s okay to use your bread as a PUSHER! BUT – in a more formal setting, it is not. No wonder I couldn’t remember!

Pick up a copy and be sure you're on the right track!

It’s funny to me that many people are often too intimidated to dine with me. I try to put them at ease by explaining that I was only able to write my book, “The Art of the Business Lunch” because I had already made every mistake there is to make; why not learn from my experiences? Why must we make every mistake ourselves? But I do know a lot when it comes to etiquette … I even speak on it!

So, where does the FUN come in? We started reading all about bread at the dinner table – how to pass it (to the right), how to take a slice (using the napkin to hold the loaf while you tear off a slice), and how you must put butter on your dish and then butter your bread; never take butter directly from the community plate and put it on your bread.

I think it’s fascinating to read about etiquette and discover all the little nuances that add grace to a client lunch or business dinner. If you’ve ever wondered about exactly what to do, pick up a copy of an etiquette book. You’ll really find it enjoyable and some of the tips are sure to surprise you!

A Gift Bag - Always a Great Attention-getter!

You are ready to invite a really BIG client out to lunch. You have the perfect “power lunch” spot picked out. You have your corporate expense account ready to roll. You just can’t figure out the best way to invite a client to lunch. You are not alone!

Seems many executives choke a bit when it comes to inviting a client out to lunch … and the bigger the client, the more anxiety about lunch. It’s really easy to invite a client to a business lunch – and you are only limited by your own creativity. I’m saving the VERY best method till the end – but don’t skip ahead. If you do, you’ll miss some great ways to get creative!

Imagine an executive’s secretary walks into his or her office around 11AM,

You call THIS lunch?!

and sets a shiny gift bag on the exec’s desk. “This came for you just now.” Inside the shiny bag, the executive finds a brown paper bag. In the bag is a square, sandwich-sized container with a VERY dull sandwich inside – perhaps two slices of plain white bread with a single piece of American cheese between them or a classic PBJ, and an apple.

Written on the outside of the lunch bag in black marker, a note reads: “You call THIS lunch? Meet me at The Palm next week for a steak! ~ Robin Jay.” Your business card is stapled to the top of the bag. Really … who could resist an invitation like THAT?!

A stunt like this is over-the-top – but wouldn’t YOU love it if someone went to that much trouble to invite YOU to lunch?  I know I would!

If you want a more subdued method for asking a client to lunch, a written invitation can work, though be careful you don’t come across as desperate! Sometimes, in today’s fast-paced business world, catering to old-fashioned methods might make you seem out-of-date; send a quick text message invitation – “When can I take you out to lunch?” – and you might seem insincere or uncaring. It can be challenging, indeed!

You can always just pick up the phone ~

There is always the phone call. Be direct … and be friendly. Now that I’m an entrepreneur, one of my pet peeves is people calling who 1. Don’t identify themselves IMMEDIATELY, and 2. Don’t get to the purpose of their call directly. If I don’t know you, why would I want to go to lunch with you?

Remember W.I.I.F.M.!!! What Is In It For ME?! I don’t get to socialize with my dear friends as much as I would like – so for me to make the time to have a lunch with a stranger, there had better be a good reason.

“Breakfast is the New Lunch”! …or shall I say, “Coffee is Quicker”!

A coffee date can be "Outta This World!"

If you want to BUILD a relationship with someone by asking them to break bread with you, you might have an easier time getting them to say “yes” by making it easy FOR THEM. Coffee is fast. Meet them near their office.

BEST OF ALL: The VERY BEST way to invite a client to a business lunch is to find someone who PERSONALLY KNOWS YOUR PROSPECT. Ask THEM if they wouldn’t mind setting up a lunch date. Tell them lunch is on you. This “Middle Man” of sorts knows both of you. They will probably be delighted to help you arrange a meeting. And – of course – they will get to enjoy a wonderful free lunch!

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS: Network, network, network! EVERY time you attend a networking event, you will meet at least 10 people who each know at least 10 people … and so on. Ask around. Find someone who knows the people you want to get to know.

Remember: An INTRODUCTION is the VERY best way to meet someone new. If you can arrange an introduction, asking clients to lunch will be the easiest thing you’ve ever done.

Fasten your seat belts and hang on! I’m off to another FABULOUS business lunch and I want YOU to come along for the ride! Here are some super tips and techniques for building PRODUCTIVE relationships over a meal (or coffee; breakfast is the new lunch!) There is no better way to create quality FACE TIME than by sharing a meal with clients and associates! Share a Meal & Close the Deal! You’re about to discover how I earned my nickname as “The Queen of the Business Lunch”!

Special thanks to Solveig Thorsrud-Allen and The FIRM Public Relations for inviting me to share my expertise.  The tips I reveal in this video will help you to make the most of mealtimes! Enjoy this outstanding video from The FIRM Public Relations.

Eat Right: It's the Fuel You Run On!

I really don’t eat HALF of what I’d like to! I could eat molten lava chocolate cake with vanilla bean ice cream after EVERY meal…even breakfast. On those rare occasions when I’m out and the ice cream is real, I can’t believe how delicious and creamy it is. Maybe that’s because the only ice cream I keep in my house is either low-fat or sugar free; no wonder “real” ice cream tastes amazing!

When I’m speaking about how I have hosted more than 3,000 client lunches, I often hear, “How come you don’t weigh 300 pounds?!” As you can see in my interview with MSNBC-TV, I told Chris Jansen that while I was taking clients out to eat several times a week, I had FOUR gym memberships all over town and I worked out A LOT! But what I didn’t get to mention was that I also ordered smart food and I ate my biggest meals during my BUSINESS LUNCHES.

There are so many reasons for ordering a more healthy lunchtime meal – to watch your weight and eat healthy, to have food that is easy to eat (it’s a LOT easier to get small bites of a piece of fish in your mouth than it is to down ribs or an over-sized burger!), and to focus more on the meeting that the eating. But there is another reason why you might want to order salads, fish, or lean meat – especially when out with clients.

Eating smart makes you sharp. Sure, you’ll look successful….but you’ll also be able to THINK like a winner. I spoke with one of my coaching clients today. She sounded tired, worn out, beaten up, frustrated, and down. She was angry at certain things going on in her life and was having trouble remaining optimistic.

About an hour into our session, I realized she had not been eating right. She’s had a kidney transplant and is on more meds than the average person. If she doesn’t eat, the meds mess up her stomach. If there isn’t healthy food prepared, easy to prepare, or ready to eat, she’ll eat what she can. Sound familiar? Of course it does…we ALL do that!

My client has an extra challenge, though. She is blind. She can’t just jump in her car and run to the store or Whole Foods to pick up a healthy meal or snack! A few bus transfers and an hour later, she MAY find something decent to eat.

It’s funny…she came to me to help her with her speaking and writing career. She is getting her Masters in Interactive Design so she can help other people by developing user-friendly software or by designing buildings for optimal accessibility. I am not a nutritionist. But if this woman is not able to think clearly or function, then before I can help her to write or speak professionally, we have to put some of the best fuel in her tank….(her THINK TANK!)

Failing to eat healthy food is a lot like trying to run a car on corn syrup instead of gasoline. Sure, it might get down the road a bit before it conks out, but it will eventually kill the engine. Cars need fresh oil, gasoline, spark plugs (ENERGY) and healthy tires. Why can’t we view our bodies the same way? Let’s put the right fuel in so we can perform at our best! A business lunch is no exception – eat smart to stay sharp!

The best drinks in Las Vegas are here...

I haven’t written a dining review in a while and I’m well overdue – since it seems I’ve been out socializing…drinking and eating a LOT lately…for business AND with friends! When I’m out and about and just loving a place, I want to share it with my readers. I have a few places in Las Vegas that I absolutely adore. They are consistent, the service is outstanding, and they are perfect for what I want at the time.

Whether I’m meeting a client for happy hour, taking clients or friends to a business lunch, or just building relationships, having a list of the best restaurants in Las Vegas handy makes scheduling networking and socializing events much easier.

I had dinner recenly with Mitchell Davis, owner of ExpertClick.com and the Yearbook of Experts. I use Expert Click to send press releases. Mitchell was visiting Las Vegas for the Consumer Electronics Show and was staying at the Rio. He suggested we have dinner at Gaylord’s Indian Restaurant. When I saw a list of specialty drinks that featured a cardamom martini, a black raspberry martini, and an elder fizz, I couldn’t resist. I love Indian food and especially the exotic flavor of cardamom.

I ordered a cardamom martini, which was masterfully blended by Jozef. Jozef is an artist; he keeps fresh ginger and cucumber, cardamom pods which he grinds up on the spot, fresh nutmeg…and many more special ingredients lined up at the back of the bar.

Gaylord's @ The Rio Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas

For weeks, I thought about that delicious martini. I craved another one and talked about it so much that within a few weeks, my friends and I were at the small (REALLY small – just six seats!) bar, ready to see if it was as amazing as I remembered.

Phil Robertson, president of Common Sense Consulting, and Mike McGettigan from Langan had grown tired of hearing me boast about this heavenly cocktail. They soon concurred, however; this martini is heaven on a stem. Jozef went all out and – knowing he had some aficionados – created several amazing drinks for us.

With his incredible array of fresh ingredients, Jozef was ready to make whatever we wanted. He put some “secret” ingredients into our first martini; watching him work was better than watching a television cooking show! He took extra care and worked hard, and finally presented us with the much anticipated blends.

We drank them slowly, savoring their fresh, unique flavors and some lively conversation. I can’t recommend this little treasure enough – but make sure you go when Jozef is working. The food at Gaylord’s is the best Indian food in Las Vegas, but why not go when you can have a cardamom martini, too?!

Another consistent, delicious getaway is Grape Vegas at Town Square. It’s a fun, cozy spot with a great happy hour. Their wine list is impressive. General Manager Jennifer Gaydeski and Manager Kevin Mahony each stopped by to make sure everything was wonderful…and it was.

One of the aspects I really like about Grape is that it’s a kid-free zone, which is as it should be. Even though the space can get noisy – especially during a Friday night happy hour – it’s nice to know that it’s adults only. Kids, BTW, are allowed on the patio. The restaurant displays the somewhat exotic artwork of Las Vegas artist A.D. Cook on the walls, and it is not necessarily anything you’d want to explain to a child. It’s subtle and beautiful, but naked breasts abound.

I recommend you sample their menu of treats while you enjoy your happy hour. One of my favorites is a flatbread with fig, prosciutto, and brie – outstanding! And Grape also has some great hummus and sliders – always yummy. I think, however, charging 50 cents for sauce for the sliders seems silly; I’d like to see the management change that. I’d rather pay 50 cents more and have the sauce come with – agree? It’s like paying $50 for a prix fixe dinner, roquefort dressing, 50 cents extra!

Bottom line? I wish we had more fab places like these two gems in my neighborhood of Henderson. So far, my favorite place in Henderson is my own kitchen! Enjoying your own home, cooking, and atmosphere makes finding a great venue out that much harder. But, wherever you go, don’t forget the most important ingredient: Great FRIENDS and stimulating conversation!

Coffee & Muffins: Faster & More Affordable than Lunch

Is breakfast the new lunch? ABSOLUTELY!

As “The Queen of the Business Lunch,” I ought to know; I personally hosted more than 3,000 client lunches while I was an advertising account executive and saw my sales increase by more than 2,000%. As many of you know, my tips and techniques for building business over meals was chronicled in my award-winning book, “The Art of the Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 and 2″ which is currently in twelve languages. There is nothing as effective as breaking bread for getting to know a client, to learn more about their business, understand their needs, and find better ways to help them achieve their goals. Something magical happens when you are in a social setting, sharing food. But budgets have been busted, expense accounts annihilated, and time to savor sandwiches and conversation is at a premium!

I am recommending breakfast meetings as an effective way to break bread in this “new economy”!

There have been so many changes in business over the past few years that even though a business lunch would still be ideal, many professionals just don’t have the time for it anymore. Working mothers can’t spare an hour and a half out of their day since they have to pick up their kids at five o’clock. And executives with billable hours – like attorneys – have always had a hard time getting away for any length of time during the work day.

Getting a lot done over coffee

Meeting someone for coffee or breakfast at eight o’clock in the morning is a wonderful way to accomplish your relationship-building goals while saving time and money. It’s not apparent that you may be suggesting breakfast as a way of saving on your expense account. Instead, it will simply seem like a more efficient way to get together.

The pace of business has picked up incredibly over the past few years. Today people just don’t have time for long, languishing lunches. The 3-martini business lunch of the late ’60′s and early ’70′s – where lunch rolled right on into happy hour – is long gone. But most of us used to be able to get away long enough for a decent lunch.

In today’s business environment, however, people just have too much work to do. If the professionals with whom you do business still have time for lunch, I urge you to seize those precious hours in the middle of the day to take those clients out. The mid-day hours can become the most productive time of your day. But for those who either don’t have time themselves or whose clients don’t have any time to spare, breakfast done right can help you to achieve your traditional business lunch goals.

Traditional lunchtime goals are primarily about building relationships – and trust me….something absolutely magical happens over a meal. People let their guard down and they open up. You’ll discover information about their business that you would never learn in an office setting. And the more you know, the better you will be able to help your clients achieve their goals…and that is really what it’s all about. People prefer to do business with people they like, and there is no better way to get to know someone than by sharing a meal with them. And if you don’t have time or the budget for a high-end lunch, then breakfast is the next best way to build relationships.

I recommend meeting at a Starbucks or neighborhood coffee shop for morning meetings. Meeting over lattes and muffins doesn’t just help you to save a bundle on meals, but it also assures that you’ll get that quality “face time” that is essential to business success. It’s a lot like working out. A lot can happen during your day to sabotage a planned after-work visit to the gym. Your friends might want to meet for happy hour or you might end up having to work late. Anyone who works out regularly will tell you that getting their workout done and out of the way first thing in the morning is the best way to succeed.

Scheduling breakfast meetings can have the same advantage; by getting together with clients before their regular day begins, you have little chance of things coming up that might interfere or cause them to reschedule. Just because you’re busy doesn’t mean you can drop the ball on connecting with clients. Networking breakfasts are also an outstanding way to get in front of many people at once. Mornings have never been better for building profitable, productive business relationships.”

What do you think? Have you tried substituting breakfast meetings for long lunch meetings? Are you saving a bundle? And have you been able to accomplish the same goals?