As a Business Relationship Expert, I have been able to accomplish so much more than I ever dreamed possible. As I move toward the December 8th premiere of “The Keeper of the Keys” – a personal development movie I’m producing – I am amazed at the important role that my business relationships have played in the success and execution of this production.
I put myself in a position to help others. Once you are able to build a reputation for being a “go-to” person, your friends and colleagues will come to you for everything. You will end up getting connected with extremely important people. Keep in mind, however, that your intentions must be pure! The benefit of building great relationships by helping others should never be about ultimately helping yourself … but that IS what is going to happen.
If you aren’t where you want to be, or where you THOUGHT you might be by now, ask yourself: “What can I do for others? How can I help THEM to achieve THEIR goals?” I assure you, it won’t be long before people want to help you in return. Reciprocity makes the world go ’round.
My goal for this movie was to help as many people as possible by showing them how to accept greater responsibility for their lives so they could stop feeling victimized by society, the economy, or even the government. To keep them engaged long enough to enjoy this personal development film, I had to find a way to “take the ‘hell’ out of self-help”!
From the very first moment when I CONCEIVED the idea to produce a personal development movie, I wanted Jack Canfield as the STAR. Because I have worked with him before, included him in my anthology series, “The Power of the Platform”, and have worked hard to get him speaking engagements, he said he would love to be featured in my movie! He knows the caliber of work I produce and knows that I will feature him in a great light. As for Jack’s opinion when I told him that my movie is going to raise the bar on the entire self-help genre by being the first FUNNY, REAL-LIFE movie, he said, “Sounds like fun!” What a gracious man. I adore Jack. It’s true: the bigger they are, the kinder they are. Everyone who knows Jack loves him.
And, speaking of LOVE, my second choice for a star in the movie was Marci Shimoff, whose book “Love for No Reason” made it to the top of many best-seller lists earlier this year. Marci had contributed a chapter to my anthology series and helped me out. I wanted to help her by putting her in what I knew would be an amazing movie. She agreed.
Guess what Marci did for me then? She asked me if I would like her to invite her friend, John Gray, to be in the movie, too! John Gray – who has sold more than 50 Million copies of “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” - is now in my movie. Friends like to help friends. And, I am thrilled to share that he HIT IT OUTTA THE PARK! His explanation of why men and women have trouble understanding each other is pure gold! And now, he shares this wisdom in MY MOVIE! Think I’m excited about THAT?! You betcha! Thanks, Marci!
Think about all the dreams you have … and every lofty goal you’d like to accomplish in this lifetime. I can assure you that doing all you can to help others will come back to you WITH INTEREST. Jack Canfield says we should all learn the 3-letter word that can move mountains: “ASK”! I learned to ask, and I agree with Jack that asking can deliver tremendous results. But, when you remember to ask what YOU can do for OTHERS, that is when you’ll really see your business increase and your life will become more fulfilling than you ever imagined.
I’m fortunate to work in the field of personal development because I can get away with spreading love, joy, and positive messages without raising too many eyebrows. Even if others don’t EXPECT me to be a bit “over the top” … they certainly aren’t surprised when they get to experience a little unexpected “love” or appreciation.
By sharing the love, I simply mean spreading positive energy – whether that means signing an email with “Love, Robin” or “I love how you’re wearing your hair,” or “I love when we get to meet for lunch!”
Is it appropriate to sign an email, “Much love”? Definitely, if you are writing to friends. But what about when you are writing to a business associate, client, or coworker? What is too much? Can you share the joy and let people know just how much you care about them – even if your relationship is relatively new? And, if you’re dealing with someone you DON’T like as much, can sharing some love help to soften their edges?
I think the answer lies in your own comfort zone. Ask yourself how YOU would feel if someone signed an email to you the same way YOU want to sign YOUR emails. In dealing with the EXPERTS who are going to appear in the movie I’m producing, “The Keeper of the Keys,” I often sign my emails with “Much love” or “Sending Love Your Way.”
My friend Julie Neil used to sign all her e-mails (from work) “Hugs, Julie”. Guess what? Whenever I saw her, I got a hug. I knew when she signed her e-mails “Hugs” – she meant it! I ran into her recently at Trader Joe’s and – you guessed it – I got a great hug. Love you, Julie. And I loved all those sweet hugs – even when we were negotiating dollars and advertising schedules. Julie was a master at spreading and sharing the LOVE!
I admit I am MUCH MORE reserved with new, conservative relationships. But it usually doesn’t take long before I’m sharing and caring. Once I feel comfortable, and I believe you will appreciate it, I’ll send some love your way. As Jackie DeShannon sang, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.”
Even if you have to be a bit more formal or reserved, you can still share love and joy as you go about your day. Offer compliments instead of criticisms. Offer a helping hand instead of complaining. Smile. Give hugs or hearty handshakes. And be sure to tell people just how much you appreciate them. You never know how long they will be here.
NOTE: I lost a friend yesterday – Randy Fleitz. His death from a heart attack was unexpected; he ran on the treadmill regularly and stayed in shape. We golfed together a few times – in charity tournaments and for business. He was hilarious. I can picture him on the links and can remember most of his funny comments.
Randy was my client, first at the Golden Nugget, then later at the Mirage. By the time we’d done a promotional ad campaign, we were friends. A round of golf cemented that. After I retired from selling advertising, I would see him occasionally around town.
Randy was younger than I. He had a family. I always knew him to be a VERY hard-working professional. And he was KIND – a fairly RARE quality among high-pressured casino executives. I remember about 15 years ago (or was it more like 18?), my step-brother James was visiting from Ohio. We sat at CPK/Mirage having lunch. Randy happened to come by. After introducing him to James, we spoke for a bit and then he went about his business.
James ate his lunch while he watched Agassi play tennis. He was mesmerized by the wide assortment of sporting events that filled the monitors in the sports book a few feet away. James said, “There is NOTHING like this in Cleveland!” (a line I often shared with my clients; we needed to remember how our fabulous strip is seen in the eyes of our visitors!) But that paled in comparison to how impressed he was when we discovered our lunch had been comped. James thought his big sister was really a big cheese, since I was friends with a boss at the Mirage. Randy, I’ll never forget that kindness.
I hope you have a tee time with your dad this week, and I hope you play well. You will be dearly missed by many here. Much love to you Randy, much love.
Every once in a while, we get to experience something wonderful: a gesture of gratitude that takes our breath away. I was fortunate enough to experience this recently.
Let me start by asking you about how you define yourself; what do you say when you meet someone new? Can you explain who you are and what you do in a tantalizing 10 words or less?
Steve Phillips, a motivational coach and speaker, emailed me from across the pond to ask how he could perfect his pitch (ELEVATOR PITCH: A brief description of who you are and what you do, used when meeting someone new, particularly at networking events.) A great pitch is always 10 words or less. It should be concise, yet open the floor to further questions. I’ve heard many elevator pitches that simply made me want to leave…and am amazed at how some people are at a complete loss when it comes to defining themselves.
The best ones are intriguing, like an advertising headline. Don Boyer, for example, says, “I help people solve problems.” This is even better than “I’m a problem solver” because it makes it about “THEM” – the people to whom you are speaking.
I often say “I help people to realize their dreams.” As a writer, speaker, and life coach, (and “The Queen of the Business Lunch”!), I have become a Business Relationship Expert. However, I’ve also experienced a great deal in my life and, as a mentor, I can help others to avoid mistakes, see their options more clearly, and narrow down their “definite chief aim.”
Steve was having a challenge because – as most people in the field of personal development – he is busy doing many things. He hosts his own seminars, coaches individuals – particularly in overcoming addiction and destructive behavior – and he is a writer, and a speaker. What a mouthful! No wonder he was having a challenge getting his pitch down to 10 words or less.
He knew he had a problem, because he was losing people in the first sentence or two, leaving them more confused than ever, overwhelming them with too much information.
I helped him by encouraging him to FOCUS on the desired outcome. “Do you want people to hire you as a coach? Do you want them to hire you as a speaker? Do you want them to hire you to put on an event?” Unless YOU are clear about what you want to accomplish, how can you tell others – especially in just a few words!?!?!
By sharing some thoughts and direction with Steve, he was able to come up with a better pitch that IMMEDIATELY started to net better results. I was happy to help.
I was delighted, however, when Steve took the time to record a video testimonial about his experience working with me! Steve, thank you so much. I am regularly asked if an e-mail thank you is acceptable, versus a hand written thank you note. From now on, I am going to encourage my audiences to post a video blog (or Linked In Recommendation!) as the best way to say THANK YOU!!! I’m delighted to share his video: