Business Meal Etiquette Still Stumps Many
Business Meal Etiquette Expert Robin Jay Shares Tips for How to Succeed at The Art of the Business Lunch
Business Meal Etiquette Still a Sticky Situation for Many
As “The Queen of the Business Lunch”, I am often asked to speak on business meal etiquette. I enjoy being able to help business executives discover the right way to conduct business over the table. It’s as much about not making mistakes as it is about doing things the right way! A bad lunch experience can destroy the opportunity to build a profitable business relationship. The key is to BE PREPARED! You can prepare for everything from casual conversation to choosing the right restaurant for your business meal.
Business Meal Etiquette Tips
Some of the most important tips I can share with you are:
- Whoever does the inviting to a business meal picks up the check, unless your client asks, “When are we going to lunch?” In that case, YOU would pick up the check. That is actually a fabulous scenario because your client is giving you the opportunity to take the relationship to a higher level. And, this is the ULTIMATE purpose behind sharing a meal. Seize it! You can slip your credit card to your server when you are being seated. Your clients will be settling in and won’t even notice. This also indicates to your server that YOU are the host of this business meal.
- Is it ever okay to order alcohol at a business meal or whenever you are out with clients? I am asked this question more than just about any other; it tends to stump even the most seasoned business pros. I always recommend that you follow the leader when it comes to alcohol. That being said, be sure to TAKE IT EASY! You never want to get drunk when out with clients. Make sure you are not drinking on an empty stomach. And, if you’re at dinner and you want to offer wine, I have a simple method for ordering a nice bottle even if you’re not a wine aficianado – but your client is. In fact, my tip was published in Chicken Soup for the Wine Lover’s Soul. Don’t be intimidated! Remember, your servers are there to help you. Look at the wine list, select two options, then point to the wine list and ask your server, “Which of these two would you recommend?” Your server will direct their comments to the table. THAT is when you give your clients the opportunity to weigh in. And, most importantly, YOU will control the cost. If given the opportunity, many clients will order the most expensive bottle, hoping to impress you with their knowledge … or merely to take advantage of your expense account!
- Be prepapared for casual conversation before a business meal. Be up to date on current events, industry trends, new technology (when applicable), community events, and world affairs. NEVER bring up any topic that could be considered “controversial” – ie: politics, religion, sex, drugs, etc. Read magazines, the latest best-seller, see the newest movie at theaters, and on the day of your lunch, try to catch at least 15 – 20 minutes of a national news show.
- Avoid ordering foods that are challenging to eat. This includes most pastas, oversized burgers barbequed ribs, chocolate fondue … you get the picture! If you think you might end up wearing your meal, such as when you are served a sandwich that is too big to eat by hand, simply desconstruct it and eat it with your untensils.
Make Your Business Meals the Most Productive Time of the Day
From choosing the right restaurant in the right price range to deciding whether or not to pick up your client or meet them at the restaurant, there are many opportunities for a business meal to turn into a disaster. Don’t let this happen to you. Be prepared for your business meals by knowing what to do – and what NOT to do – before you go. Once you discover the benefits of sharing a business meal with your clients, you’ll start to see your business grow more than you ever thought possible.
If you have business meal questions, I’m here to help. Email me at Robin at RobinJay.com and I’ll be happy to help you navigate your business meals to success.
More Answers to Big Business Lunch Questions
A LOT Can Go Wrong at a Business Lunch: Being Prepared Will Help
As I wrote in my last post, I spoke recently for HP in Southern California. I was brought in to speak because my clients appreciate the importance of doing a business lunch the right way. Whether you’ve been on more than 3,000 client lunches (like I have) or you’re just starting out, it is important that you feel comfortable and confident. This can come from knowing what to avoid or how to handle certain situations.
During the meal, I asked the printer resellers and distributors to try to “Stump the Speaker / Shock the Speaker.” I wanted to offer my BEST advice for their WORST situations. I haven’t been stumped yet because most challenges or problems that come up at business lunches are more common than people think, but I definitely heard some great stories and thought-provoking questions.
I asked our guests 1) what was the worst thing that EVER happened to them at a business lunch, 2) how they might have better handled the situation, and 3) to share anything they might have trouble with – in general – along the way.
I found it interesting that most people offered their OWN suggestions as to how they might have better handled a particular situation. I think most of us tend to “hash & rehash” those awful moments in our minds. Seems we’d ALL like “a ticket to ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda.’” My mantra is “be prepared,” but things can happen fast when at a business lunch. If you’re with a big client, you might be nervous. And then, there are just a LOT of things that can go wrong. We’re people – not robots – and we have emotions, as well as million thoughts a day. Hindsight is always 20/20. 
Good judgment – unfortunately – comes from bad experience.
Here are some of the best stories from last week:
Shannon said that a client dumped coffee in his lap. HOT coffee. YIKES! As to what he would do differently? He would not have ordered coffee for the table! THAT was easy! And, I can add this little tip:
IF YOU KNOW that your client likes something you don’t care for – such as alcohol, dessert, or sushi, bring someone from your office as a “buffer.” That way, your client won’t have to drink alone (and YOU of course will be Designated Driver!), YOU won’t have to try to find cooked entrees at a sushi bar, or you won’t have to see your morning workout get annulled by a giant slice of cake you forced down just because your client wanted dessert! Bringing a coworker (or boss) can be a very wise move, especially when you know your client is going to want something you don’t care for.
One executive ended up in a restaurant that was too noisy. We’ve ALL been to restaurants that are USUALLY just fine for a business lunch, but on the day WE are there, there is a baby shower going on at the next table or some other type of large, noisy party. We can’t prepare for EVERY distraction, but try asking your maitre d’ for a quiet table when you make your reservation. (Of COURSE you are going to make a reservation!)
NEVER Pay for a Business Lunch with CASH!
One of my guests asked, “What if your client wants to pay for lunch?” I went into great detail in my book on how to avoid that situation by slipping your credit card to your server the moment you are seated. Not only does that help to avoid the fight over the check, but it also identifies YOU as the host of that party. This is an especially helpful tip for women when taking men to lunch. In many restaurants, servers still tend to give the check to the man. Ladies – take note! And you definitely want to pay for lunch with a credit card. Paying with cash can create a sort of “Let’s all chip in” or “Can I get the tip” atmosphere.
Alcohol … excessive alcohol, that is, … is the #1 cause of distress at business lunches! People have too much to drink or they are simply drinking a little on an empty stomach. Either way, they get drunk and it’s not long before their behavior gets sloppy. Chris said he brought a sales executive with him to a client lunch. The executive had too much to drink – and Chris ended up having the VP of his company call the client to apologize. I believe there is no quicker way to LOSE YOUR JOB than by getting drunk in front of clients. TAKE IT EASY!
It’s not a sin to eat a little something before you go. And – if you are attending a mixer at 5PM and lunch was at noon, you WILL BE drinking on an empty stomach. Park yourself by the food table when you first arrive. Remedy the situation. THEN, you’ll be free to mix and mingle with a drink in your hand without ending up on the floor! Besides, it’s impossible to eat, drink, AND hand out business cards! I keep a bag of nuts in my car, just in case I get hungry in the middle of the day or for any other time I’m not able to grab a quick bite.
How can you stop someone from drinking too much? This is a bit touchy, but it’s a great chance to collaborate with your server. Excuse yourself to the restroom, find your server, and tell them to CUT OFF the supply of alcohol to your client! Let them be the bad guy. They can also cut someone’s drink enough to render it fairly harmless. If you suspect your client may be on their way to getting drunk, order appetizers and get your server involved. Have them weaken the drinks so you’ll have the chance to get your client to eat. And NEXT TIME, invite that client out to breakfast. It will be a lot easier for them to stop drinking if they never get started.
Lastly, if you slip and fall, injuring only your pride, just stand up, brush yourself off, and carry on! I always ask if ANYONE in the room has NEVER spilled a drink. I’ve yet to see a hand go up. We are human, floors are slippery. Don’t wear shoes you can’t walk in – THAT should help slightly. Then, watch your step. I’m not saying you’ll never fall again, but being prepared WILL help!
I want to send out special thanks to everyone that I got to meet in OC. I’m here for you if any other questions come to mind. And if YOU have a situation for which you would like to have my opinion or my advice, just ask!
Are You “Lunch Worthy”?
When it comes to marketing, the future is texting and “permission-based” advertising to attract new business and keep customers on site. Michael Perhaes, Sr. V.P. of Edelman Digital in Chicago, predicts that soon there will be no “traditional” or “digital” marketing, just “marketing.” He recently commented in the Las Vegas Sun on the state of – and various types of – hotel marketing. This combination of traditional and digital marketing, according to Perhaes, is being referred to already as “tradigital.”Inspiring, to say the least.
Reading Michael’s comment reminded me just how much I want to create my own word(s). This desire first came to me when Stephen Colbert invented the word “truthiness” a while ago. I decided I, too, wanted to invent a word. But where to begin….?
Hmmm. Being “The Queen of the Business Lunch,” I thought my word should probably have something to do with the Business Lunch. If I had a dollar for every time I had to type or say “Business Lunch,” I’d have more money than Trump. Don’t think I haven’t considered inventing “blunch.” It’s just that the word itself is, well, unappealing and unappetizing. I’ve used “biz lunch” in the past, but it sounds too hurried, as in “Let’s catch a smoothie after a work out in the gym.”
I could rip of Colbert directly – and talk about “lunchiness.” But what exactly would “lunchiness” mean?
I finally decided upon a phrase, rather than a single word. I’m here to discuss my new phrase: “LUNCH WORTHY”! This works for me, as time today is our greatest resource. If you want me to meet you for lunch, I have to consider taking at least an hour to get ready (now that I work from home, I am not always “lunch ready”!) But that just scratches the surface.
There is the drive to wherever your office is or to the restaurant, if I am not going to pick you up. After SCHLEPPING back and forth across the valley for nearly 20 years, I am incredibly reluctant to drive very far just to have lunch with a colleague or client. Working from home has definitely spoiled me!
Then, there is the preparation. Preparing for a business lunch takes time. I have to get up-to-date on the industry, current events, and so on…. I’m sure you’re getting the picture.
The WORST part about lunch today is that since I’m now dressed up and out and about, I will most likely want to stop at the market on my way home. It’s apparent that a simple 1.5 hour lunch (or my favorite 2+ hour lunch) is going to turn into a 5-hour excursion. Taking 5 hours out of my day means I’ll be sitting here at 11PM, working and making up for lost time.
Are you LUNCH WORTHY? Is having lunch with you going to be so fabulous that it will be well WORTH the five hours it’s going to take? In many cases, it IS worth it. I love to connect with former colleagues and I definitely enjoy work-related business lunches with current clients or prospects. There are also worthwhile industry functions – which are tremendous networking opportunities!
The next time you take someone out to lunch, make sure you have a lot to share. Try to be as LUNCH WORTHY as possible and I bet you’ll see your lunch calendar fill up quickly!
And, if you still can’t spare the time it takes to have a productive, yet leisurely lunch, remember that a coffee or breakfast meeting can always solve your problems. Here is a clip where I explain why coffee is a great substitute for a business lunch.
I’ll Be Speaking @ PCMA Meeting This Week!
Professional Convention Management Association Chapter Meeting, 10/7
Thursday morning, October 7th, I’ll be speaking at the Southwestern/Pacific chapter meeting of PCMA: Professional Convention Management Association. I’d like to send special thanks to Gina Mann at the Las Vegas Convention Vistors Authority for recommending me as this month’s speaker. The breakfast will be held at the South Point Hotel & Casino at 8AM.
I’ll be presenting “B FACE 2 FACE 4 SUCCESS” - a 60-minute keynote presentation on building EFFECTIVE & PRODUCTIVE business relationships that will include suggestions that you will be able to implement IMMEDIATELY to increase your sales and improve your bottom line. This presentation is built upon the lessons I discovered while building relationships during my sales career, which I shared in my first book, “The Art of the Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 and 2.” My experience during nearly 20 years of sales and my ability to build such incredible relationships is why my clients started calling me “The Queen of the Business Lunch”.
A strong ability to build relationships can assure your success – whatever field you are in. WHY? Because PEOPLE PREFER TO DO BUSINESS WITH PEOPLE THEY LIKE! Your parents were wrong: success in life actually IS a popularity contest! After all – who wants to hang out with or do business with people they DON’T LIKE?! When you look at it this way, it makes sense: to succeed, you need to develop your PEOPLE SKILLS.
People have choices – and when it comes to business, they are even more likely to take advantage of their options … especially in THIS competitive environment. No business decision is ever JUST about price!
When I deliver this presentation, I ask my audiences for a show of hands to
The feedback I get when presenting supports my doctrine: PEOPLE PREFER TO DO BUSINESS WITH PEOPLE THEY LIKE!
indicate how many people REGULARLY go OUT OF THEIR WAY to patronize a particular business because they PREFER how they are treated at the more inconvenient location than at a similar business closer to their homes. I ALWAYS get 100% response! That supports my point: your people skills can improve your business or destroy it. It’s not that hard to build solid, productive business relationships. I’ll be sharing tips and techniques so that you, too, can become a Business Relationship Expert! Hope to see you there.
How Do You Ask a Client to Lunch?
A Gift Bag - Always a Great Attention-getter!
You are ready to invite a really BIG client out to lunch. You have the perfect “power lunch” spot picked out. You have your corporate expense account ready to roll. You just can’t figure out the best way to invite a client to lunch. You are not alone!
Seems many executives choke a bit when it comes to inviting a client out to lunch … and the bigger the client, the more anxiety about lunch. It’s really easy to invite a client to a business lunch – and you are only limited by your own creativity. I’m saving the VERY best method till the end – but don’t skip ahead. If you do, you’ll miss some great ways to get creative!
Imagine an executive’s secretary walks into his or her office around 11AM,
You call THIS lunch?!
and sets a shiny gift bag on the exec’s desk. “This came for you just now.” Inside the shiny bag, the executive finds a brown paper bag. In the bag is a square, sandwich-sized container with a VERY dull sandwich inside – perhaps two slices of plain white bread with a single piece of American cheese between them or a classic PBJ, and an apple.
Written on the outside of the lunch bag in black marker, a note reads: “You call THIS lunch? Meet me at The Palm next week for a steak! ~ Robin Jay.” Your business card is stapled to the top of the bag. Really … who could resist an invitation like THAT?!
A stunt like this is over-the-top – but wouldn’t YOU love it if someone went to that much trouble to invite YOU to lunch? I know I would!
If you want a more subdued method for asking a client to lunch, a written invitation can work, though be careful you don’t come across as desperate! Sometimes, in today’s fast-paced business world, catering to old-fashioned methods might make you seem out-of-date; send a quick text message invitation – “When can I take you out to lunch?” – and you might seem insincere or uncaring. It can be challenging, indeed!
You can always just pick up the phone ~
There is always the phone call. Be direct … and be friendly. Now that I’m an entrepreneur, one of my pet peeves is people calling who 1. Don’t identify themselves IMMEDIATELY, and 2. Don’t get to the purpose of their call directly. If I don’t know you, why would I want to go to lunch with you?
Remember W.I.I.F.M.!!! What Is In It For ME?! I don’t get to socialize with my dear friends as much as I would like – so for me to make the time to have a lunch with a stranger, there had better be a good reason.
“Breakfast is the New Lunch”! …or shall I say, “Coffee is Quicker”!
A coffee date can be "Outta This World!"
If you want to BUILD a relationship with someone by asking them to break bread with you, you might have an easier time getting them to say “yes” by making it easy FOR THEM. Coffee is fast. Meet them near their office.
BEST OF ALL: The VERY BEST way to invite a client to a business lunch is to find someone who PERSONALLY KNOWS YOUR PROSPECT. Ask THEM if they wouldn’t mind setting up a lunch date. Tell them lunch is on you. This “Middle Man” of sorts knows both of you. They will probably be delighted to help you arrange a meeting. And – of course – they will get to enjoy a wonderful free lunch!
WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS: Network, network, network! EVERY time you attend a networking event, you will meet at least 10 people who each know at least 10 people … and so on. Ask around. Find someone who knows the people you want to get to know.
Remember: An INTRODUCTION is the VERY best way to meet someone new. If you can arrange an introduction, asking clients to lunch will be the easiest thing you’ve ever done.
Is Breakfast the New Lunch?
Coffee & Muffins: Faster & More Affordable than Lunch
Is breakfast the new lunch? ABSOLUTELY!
As “The Queen of the Business Lunch,” I ought to know; I personally hosted more than 3,000 client lunches while I was an advertising account executive and saw my sales increase by more than 2,000%. As many of you know, my tips and techniques for building business over meals was chronicled in my award-winning book, “The Art of the Business Lunch: Building Relationships Between 12 and 2″ which is currently in twelve languages. There is nothing as effective as breaking bread for getting to know a client, to learn more about their business, understand their needs, and find better ways to help them achieve their goals. Something magical happens when you are in a social setting, sharing food. But budgets have been busted, expense accounts annihilated, and time to savor sandwiches and conversation is at a premium!
I am recommending breakfast meetings as an effective way to break bread in this “new economy”!
There have been so many changes in business over the past few years that even though a business lunch would still be ideal, many professionals just don’t have the time for it anymore. Working mothers can’t spare an hour and a half out of their day since they have to pick up their kids at five o’clock. And executives with billable hours – like attorneys – have always had a hard time getting away for any length of time during the work day.
Getting a lot done over coffee
Meeting someone for coffee or breakfast at eight o’clock in the morning is a wonderful way to accomplish your relationship-building goals while saving time and money. It’s not apparent that you may be suggesting breakfast as a way of saving on your expense account. Instead, it will simply seem like a more efficient way to get together.
The pace of business has picked up incredibly over the past few years. Today people just don’t have time for long, languishing lunches. The 3-martini business lunch of the late ’60′s and early ’70′s – where lunch rolled right on into happy hour – is long gone. But most of us used to be able to get away long enough for a decent lunch.
In today’s business environment, however, people just have too much work to do. If the professionals with whom you do business still have time for lunch, I urge you to seize those precious hours in the middle of the day to take those clients out. The mid-day hours can become the most productive time of your day. But for those who either don’t have time themselves or whose clients don’t have any time to spare, breakfast done right can help you to achieve your traditional business lunch goals.
Traditional lunchtime goals are primarily about building relationships – and trust me….something absolutely magical happens over a meal. People let their guard down and they open up. You’ll discover information about their business that you would never learn in an office setting. And the more you know, the better you will be able to help your clients achieve their goals…and that is really what it’s all about. People prefer to do business with people they like, and there is no better way to get to know someone than by sharing a meal with them. And if you don’t have time or the budget for a high-end lunch, then breakfast is the next best way to build relationships.
I recommend meeting at a Starbucks or neighborhood coffee shop for morning meetings. Meeting over lattes and muffins doesn’t just help you to save a bundle on meals, but it also assures that you’ll get that quality “face time” that is essential to business success. It’s a lot like working out. A lot can happen during your day to sabotage a planned after-work visit to the gym. Your friends might want to meet for happy hour or you might end up having to work late. Anyone who works out regularly will tell you that getting their workout done and out of the way first thing in the morning is the best way to succeed.
Scheduling breakfast meetings can have the same advantage; by getting together with clients before their regular day begins, you have little chance of things coming up that might interfere or cause them to reschedule. Just because you’re busy doesn’t mean you can drop the ball on connecting with clients. Networking breakfasts are also an outstanding way to get in front of many people at once. Mornings have never been better for building profitable, productive business relationships.”
What do you think? Have you tried substituting breakfast meetings for long lunch meetings? Are you saving a bundle? And have you been able to accomplish the same goals?