Dr. Lisa Mauro – A VERY Special Veterinarian
The BEST Pet Care in Las Vegas is Dr. Lisa Mauro at HAVEN ANIMAL HOSPITAL
Whenever I speak on building relationships, I always stress the importance of making others feel special – and today it’s MY turn to give Dr. Lisa Mauro, the owner of Haven Animal Hospital, my most heartfelt gratitude and appreciation.
Those who know me know that my 11-year old Shih Tzu Georgie means the world to me. For those of us whose dogs are our “children,” seeing them in pain or distress is indescribable – even for someone like me, a writer. We need to know that the care we are giving them is the best available anywhere.
Georgie Chillin' in Her Stroller
Georgie is the most beautiful dog I’ve ever seen. Seriously, she stops traffic. People ooh and ahh when they see her. Of course, being such a diva, she takes it all in as if she was Angelina Jolie on the red carpet. She is light beige with the most amazing, long black eyelashes.
People stop us on the street to ask how I glue on her eyelashes. (Can you imagine a dog owner doing that?! I can’t!) When I tell them she is a natural beauty and those are real, they can’t believe it. I smooth her hair and lashes back so they can see that they are, indeed, natural. Often, they ask if they can snap her photo. She is my pride and joy and my little comedienne and she fills my days with love and light.
Today, Georgie went in for surgery to have a lump removed from her back leg. I thought it was a cyst, the kind she’s had before, but it soon became apparent that this one was different. It was wicked and was growing very rapidly. I knew we had to have it removed, but surgery on a dog who is 11.5 years old is never something to take lightly.
I Was So Happy to Celebrate the Opening of Haven Animal Hospital with Dr. Lisa Mauro
Dr. Mauro took exceptional care of my precious little girl. She opened Haven Animal Hospital last year because she wanted to create a facility where she could care for pets in the best possible way – and as a 36-year resident of Las Vegas, I can swear that I’ve never seen a facility as extraordinary as this or a doctor who is SO CARING. “Haven” is the perfect name.
And, you know that if I trust Dr. Mauro with Georgie’s life, she’s got to be amazing! The hospital is a state-of-the-art facility and Dr. Mauro treats all her patients as if they were her own.
I’m delighted to share that Georgie is sleeping soundly right now. She had a traumatic day and she’s exhausted. But she’s home, she’s on the mend, and I have Dr. Lisa to thank. I’ve never experienced this level of care before at any animal hospital in Las Vegas. If you love your pets like children, and you want to know where to take them for outstanding health care, take them to Dr. Lisa Mauro at Haven Animal Hospital. The phone number there is 702-260-6260 – and they are at Robindale and Rainbow, which is easily accessible from nearly anywhere in Las Vegas.
Go to www.TheLoveBook.com on 1/11/11!
You'll LOVE Reading "LOVE FOR NO REASON"
Want to start the year out right? Just go to www.TheLoveBook.com for the best book you’ll read in your lifetime and get $688 in FREE gifts from some of today’s top self-help experts and gurus!? No catch – just buy it TODAY – 1/11/11.
New York Times Bestselling author Marci Shimoff has written a new book that is positively transformational! I started reading it this week and can assure you, you are going to fall in love – with Marci, with her book, with yourself, and with life! And Marci has put together a wonderful package to say “thank you” – just buy “Love for No Reason” on 1/11/11 by going to www.TheLoveBook.com and claim your incredible gift package.
You’ll discover 7 Steps to Creating a Life of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Imagine feeling like you are in love EVERY Day of your life! You’ll discover how to:
- open your heart to become a magnet for love,
- enjoy more fulfilling relationships with others AND yourself,
- experience more love and satisfaction, and
- help your family, community, and the world.
Don’t wait – Tuesday, 1/11/11 is the only day for this outstanding special offer. You’ll want to get a few for your friends, too. (Guess what my sister is going to get for her Aquarius birthday later this month?!) I’m going to get several more, because if we order THREE or more books today, we’ll receive FOUR HOURS of LIVE group coaching calls with author Marci Shimoff. I want to be there to learn all I can from Marci. Don’t wait – order yours NOW!
PCMA Convention Notes
PCMA convention attendees – and anyone else who wants to view this fantastic report – just click the link here to open the FORBES Insights report on doing business face-to-face.
I predict that meetings will soon become hybrids – a combination of face-to-face meetings with the key decision makers on site and additional attendees as a virtual audience. As indicated in the Forbes insight report, cost and time are the main reasons for hosting technology-assisted meetings. But the bottom line is that there is no substitute for a face-to-face meeting or – even better – the opportunity to break bread with your clients.
Cheers! I look forward to building a relationship with you. Please subscribe to my blog or sign up on my home page to receive my “7 Steps to Networking Success” – a wonderful, 7-part report that will have you saying, “I never thought of that!” ~ Robin
Sinatra @ Wynn Las Vegas – MUST SEE!
Must-see Limited Engagement @ the WYNN Las Vegas
I’ve lived in Las Vegas for 36 years. I’ve seen it all, or so I thought. My 81-year old father continually reminds me of how jaded and cynical I am. I, on the other hand, feel I’m a better critic of what is really outstanding. I don’t fall for schlock dressed up to look like talent. I saw Elvis on his comeback tour in 1970. I saw Jimi Hendrix (Okay, I was barely a teenager, but his psychadelic performance was permanently etched on my young mind!) I’ve seen shows some people never even imagined.
While building my reputation as “The Queen of the Business Lunch” in advertising sales, I was fortunate enough to get media invitations to most of the shows and restaurants that opened in Las Vegas over the past 30 years.
That is why I have to share my thoughts on the newest, limited engagement at the Wynn Las Vegas: “Sinatra: Dance With Me.”
I have never seen a show quite like this. In a word, it’s BRILLIANT! Conception and choreography is all Twila Tharp, who also directed this show. It is fresh, innovative, and engaging. (So engaging, in fact, I didn’t even look at my watch once! For me, that’s saying a LOT!) The music is Sinatra. Sinatra himself would LOVE this production.
There is not a line of dialogue. Instead, we see dancers in a nightclub dance their way through a love story. The music is Sinatra’s original studio recordings backed by a 17-piece big band. I hate to say this, but it’s not long before you forget that Sinatra himself is not on stage singing. His voice was at its finest – every note precise and on the money. The dancing is incredible – I felt as if I was watching a classic painting that moved.
The show is scheduled to appear at the Encore Theater through 1/29/11 – but hopefully, if ticket sales are strong, the property will decide to keep it around indefinitely. This is a hit. You can trust me. I saw Sinatra “live” at Caesars Palace and I can tell you honestly, THIS was better!
How Come I Don’t Weigh 300 Pounds?
There is a Conspiracy to Make Americans Fat
Whenever I speak to a group as “The Queen of the Business Lunch” and share that I have personally hosted more than 3,000 client lunches, I invariably get asked, “Robin Jay, how come you don’t weigh 300 pounds?!” I try to get a laugh with my answer: “Because I order the FISH!” It works; my audience members shake their heads knowing that ordering fish is a healthy choice. But the truth goes much, much deeper than that.
When I was busy racking up those 3,000 meals, I was also racking up time at the gym. In fact, at one point, I actually had three gym memberships AND worked out with a trainer at his facility! Whenever my lunch date would cancel, I would pop into the nearest of those four locations and get in a workout. Plus, I have a full gym at home. As my dad always says, “Calories in minus calories burned equals weight gained or lost.” There is no magic formula. But THAT is boring as hell, right? Want to hear something you probably HAVEN’T heard before?
What if I told you that there is a conspiracy that is working to pack pounds on you, your family, and your friends? In fact, ALL AMERICANS are at risk of becoming obese! And, believing that knowledge is power, I’m here to EMPOWER you.
I was recently enjoying a low-carb meal with my friend Andrew Klebanow. The information he shared with me was so startling, I knew I HAD to share it here with you – my faithful blog readers!
Andrew is Principal of Gaming Market Advisors
I’ve known Andrew for more than 20 years; as a former client when I sold advertising to the Las Vegas tourism & gaming industry, he accounted for a few of those 3,000 client lunches I hosted. Today, Andrew is a Principal of Gaming Market Advisors and is one of the foremost authorities on the gaming industry. He is a regular speaker at gaming expos and his expertise in the industry is outstanding, as is evidenced by his company’s IMPRESSIVE client list. Andrew’s research on behalf of his gaming clients has led him to some incredible discoveries about our FOOD INDUSTRIES!
Andrew is often called upon to deal with the opposition that arises when casino owners plan future developments. Any public debate on the pros and cons of casino development brings up the topic of problem gambling and its economic and social costs on the host community. (Bear with me – we’re getting to the FAT in just a sec; this is as exciting as a novel – you’ll see!)
These debates are frequently led by those who are morally opposed to casino gambling. It is Andrew’s task to clarify what problem gambling is, explore its prevalence in society, and compare its social and economic costs to other forms of aberrant behavior caused by what many see as more benign industries. Are you STARTING to see the connection? (NOTE: If you’d like an in-depth definition of what defines a “problem gambler,” just let me know and I’ll forward it to you.)
In 1999, the U. S. National Gambling Impact Study Commission (NGISC) reported that the percentage of U.S. adults classified as pathological gamblers is about 1.4%. Even as gaming development has grown considerably, the rate of problem gambling has remained fairly constant. The NGISC also reported that pathological gambling often occurs in conjunction with other behavioral problems, including substance abuse and personality disorders. The gaming industry has and continues to support initiatives that educate and treat problem gambling. (Just walk through any casino and you’ll see information regarding problem gambling posted everywhere!)
Other industries, however, have been far slower to embrace the costs that their products and services impose upon society yet, communities rarely raise a sign of protest against them.
In August of 2010, the U.S. Center for Disease Control issued a report stating that 27% of the U.S. population (72.5 million Americans) are now classified as obese. Unlike problem gambling, where the costs on society are hard to measure, obesity has some very real and significant costs.
Obesity Costs America Billions Each Year
On average, an obese person incurs $1,400 more a year in medical costs than a person of normal weight. The U.S. Center for Disease Control report estimates the costs to U.S. society at $147 billion a year. And unlike problem gambling, whose physical effects are for the most part, unknown, obesity is known to lead to heart disease, stroke, diabetes, cancer and premature death.
CONSPIRACY? Unless you are aware of what is in EVERYTHING you put in your mouth, you are doomed to a life of obesity, constantly battling your weight. I LOVE eating out – and prefer restaurants that offer fresh fish (and I’m not kidding now!) as well as lean, grilled steaks, big salads, and even cocktails and wine. I have plowed my way through 1.5 pounds of crab legs with a filet on the side in a single sitting! I have a hearty appetite, but I am extremely careful about what I eat and am aware of hidden salt, fat, and sugar – the “trilogy of triple bypass”! These three ingredients are often disguised and hidden in seemingly DELICIOUS, healthy food – from tender chicken to glazed veggies, as well as the more obvious desserts or fried foods.
U.S. agricultural policy subsidizes the production of corn, soybean and other commodities that are the raw ingredients of many foods linked to obesity. Cattle and hogs are fed feed made from corn. High-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) is the primary sweetener in soft drinks. Due to the public’s growing awareness of the dangers of HFCS, the Corn Refiners Association has decided to change the name of HFCS to “Corn Sugar“! Golly Gee – THAT sure sounds like a healthier choice! Along with Corn Sugar, a myriad of other products are produced from raw agricultural ingredients whose production is subsidized by taxpayers.
Do kids today even stand a CHANCE of growing up healthy?
Agricultural subsidies have the net effect of reducing the costs of food production and allowing food manufacturers, restaurant companies, and fast food chains to increase portion size while reducing food costs. Any attempt to reduce these subsidies to U.S. farmers is summarily blocked by politicians from agriculture states and lobbyists who represent agricultural interests.
Recognizing the obesity epidemic, both the U.S. federal government and state governments have explored a number of initiatives to limit consumption, including
instituting a tax on sugary soft drinks. Rather than address its role in combating the obesity epidemic, the soft drink industry has opposed any such measures at every level of government. The American Beverage Association, an industry lobbying group, characterized the tax as a “money grab” and has advocated that a tax on sugary soft drinks would affect low income consumers the most. So far, their efforts have succeeded in preventing governments from imposing such a tax.
The U.S. restaurant industry has likewise refused to take steps that might limit consumption. It has opposed posting calorie counts on menus or taking any other measure that might inform consumers of the hazards associated with their products.THIS IS WHY IT’S CRITICAL THAT YOU BECOME YOUR OWN HEALTH ADVOCATE! NO ONE, NOT THE GOVERNMENT OR THE GROWERS OR THE FOOD PRODUCT MANUFACTURERS ARE GOING TO HELP YOU! Discover all you can about nutrition and the food you are consuming – PLEASE! I want you to be around for a long time and enjoy a healthy life.
Instead of warning you of any food/health hazards, restaurant companies continue to develop recipes that encourage increased consumption of calories. They employ food chemists, test kitchens and market researchers to develop products that consumers want and crave, regardless what consumption of those products will have on their customers’ health and society as a whole. Restaurant companies and food manufacturers have essentially adopted strategies developed by the tobacco industry, which is to deny their responsibility to the epidemic and oppose policies that would limit or tax consumption.
Smoking & Obesity - KNOWN Health Risks!
(It is common knowledge now that for over a half century, U.S. tobacco companies denied that their products were unhealthy – and even funded scientific studies to support their claims. Only in the face of overwhelming scientific evidence have tobacco companies modified those strategies. Nevertheless, tobacco companies continue to lobby against initiatives, such as bans on indoor smoking that would restrict exposure to second-hand smoke. Today roughly 20% of adults smoke and their costs, both social and economic, are a significant burden on society.)
Remember that Andrew, who armed me with all this data about tax breaks and subsidies, was never out to indict the food or tobacco industries … and neither am I. My goal in sharing this information with you is to make you aware that unless you are eating barely processed, fresh ingredients, you are taking a risk with your health.
Andrew’s argument is sealed when he offers the following numbers that put problem gambling in perspective:
- 1.4% (the percent of adults who are problem gamblers),
- 27%(the percent of adults who are obese), and
- 20%(the percent of adults who smoke).
Problem gambling is real and the casino industry acknowledges it, but its impact on society and on the lives of Americans is relatively small when compared to obesity and tobacco use.
As we approach a new year and our traditional New Year’s resolutions, I hope you will resolve to become more educated about what you are eating and make choices that will lead you to a healthier lifestyle, one that includes exercise. Take care of yourself so that you will live a long time and enjoy an outstanding quality of life.
Gratitude for the PERFECT PITCH
Every once in a while, we get to experience something wonderful: a gesture of gratitude that takes our breath away. I was fortunate enough to experience this recently.
Let me start by asking you about how you define yourself; what do you say when you meet someone new? Can you explain who you are and what you do in a tantalizing 10 words or less?
Steve Phillips, a motivational coach and speaker, emailed me from across the pond to ask how he could perfect his pitch (ELEVATOR PITCH: A brief description of who you are and what you do, used when meeting someone new, particularly at networking events.) A great pitch is always 10 words or less. It should be concise, yet open the floor to further questions. I’ve heard many elevator pitches that simply made me want to leave…and am amazed at how some people are at a complete loss when it comes to defining themselves.
The best ones are intriguing, like an advertising headline. Don Boyer, for example, says, “I help people solve problems.” This is even better than “I’m a problem solver” because it makes it about “THEM” – the people to whom you are speaking.
I often say “I help people to realize their dreams.” As a writer, speaker, and life coach, (and “The Queen of the Business Lunch”!), I have become a Business Relationship Expert. However, I’ve also experienced a great deal in my life and, as a mentor, I can help others to avoid mistakes, see their options more clearly, and narrow down their “definite chief aim.”
Steve was having a challenge because – as most people in the field of personal development – he is busy doing many things. He hosts his own seminars, coaches individuals – particularly in overcoming addiction and destructive behavior – and he is a writer, and a speaker. What a mouthful! No wonder he was having a challenge getting his pitch down to 10 words or less.
He knew he had a problem, because he was losing people in the first sentence or two, leaving them more confused than ever, overwhelming them with too much information.
I helped him by encouraging him to FOCUS on the desired outcome. “Do you want people to hire you as a coach? Do you want them to hire you as a speaker? Do you want them to hire you to put on an event?” Unless YOU are clear about what you want to accomplish, how can you tell others – especially in just a few words!?!?!
By sharing some thoughts and direction with Steve, he was able to come up with a better pitch that IMMEDIATELY started to net better results. I was happy to help.
I was delighted, however, when Steve took the time to record a video testimonial about his experience working with me! Steve, thank you so much. I am regularly asked if an e-mail thank you is acceptable, versus a hand written thank you note. From now on, I am going to encourage my audiences to post a video blog (or Linked In Recommendation!) as the best way to say THANK YOU!!! I’m delighted to share his video:
Cheap Client Gifts They’ll Treasure
With the holidays approaching, business professionals everywhere are wondering how they are going to get through the season without going broke – especially at the end of a year that was, for many, anything but ROBUST. Fear not, my friends, I have some simple, affordable solutions.
Great Gift: A Thoughtful Photo in an Appropriate Frame
First choice: a photo of you with your client in a fab picture frame! Not only is it thoughtful, but your client will get to see your pretty face sitting on their desk or credenza – at least be reminded of a fun time. C’mon, you have a camera on your phone, don’t you? Next time you are taking your client to lunch – or even in a conference room or their office for a meeting, whip out your cell and snap a close up of the two you laughing. If you play golf with your client – a photo of you together on the course is IDEAL!
Need some CHEAP (ahem…I mean AFFORDABLE) frames? Try T.J. Maxx or Home Goods. They have TONS of frames – everything from business/leather to seashells to “Girls Night Out” – and they are mostly under $10. Imagine being able to give TEN clients customized, thoughtful gifts for less than $100!!!
(Okay, to be PERFECTLY HONEST, it will run a little more by the time you splurge on glossy printing paper, toner, and gift wrap – but compared to buying lavish gifts like massages or Mont Blanc pens – like I USED to – this gift is crazy cheap and super thoughtful.) Oh – and BTW – I get my toner and paper and MOST of my office supplies on Ebay for savings that make me wonder why office supply stores are still in business!
If you’re like me and fancy yourself a bit of a “Martha Stewart” (ie: Creative, love to cook, etc.), the
Even Grocery Store Cookies Look Amazing When Served on a Pedestal
possibilities are endless. Here’s a gem of an idea: Drop off a gourmet treat (home baked or store bought) on a beautiful serving platter. Even grocery store treats will look scrumptious when they are offered on an elegant cake plate or crystal dish. This is also a SUPER hostess gift idea! Your client (or hostess) gets to keep the wonderful serving platter (or dish or stand) AND enjoy a yummy treat. I have found extraordinary serving pieces at the discount home shops around town.
At parties, a hostess will say “Let me clean the serving piece you brought so you can take it home.” I reply, “No, that’s for YOU, for being such an outstanding hostess!” They get to KEEP the platter – and they will think of you EVERY TIME THEY USE IT!
Try to find gifts that are “sticky” – in other words, something that your client will want to hang on to. If
Hats with Logos are Always a HIT!
they are a sports fan, score some logo’d merchandise for them. You don’t have to go into a sports memorabilia store for a signed photo or limited edition item. If they love golf, you can pick up a logo’d hat or visor for less than $20. If they love football, get them a coffee mug with their team logo. (This is a great idea – UNLESS you’re client is a fan of the Cleveland Browns. I’m from
The Cleveland Browns - Great Fans, Lousy Logo!
Cleveland, so please forgive me for saying this, but WHERE is our logo? Brown is just a COLOR – ya know? We don’t have a dolphin, a bear, a patriot, or even a star! We don’t have Bengal strips or ram horns. The Browns are just brown & orange. Really? It doesn’t matter; they have some of the greatest FANS in the history of the game!)
Your client won’t care WHAT you give them – IF it’s promoting their team, favorite athlete, or activity. It’s the THOUGHT that counts – and logo’d merchandise is incredibly thoughtful.
By now, you’re getting the picture. THINK about what your client enjoys (yes, that takes a BIT of effort!) If they are female, don’t risk personal items such as perfume or pocketbooks. If they travel, a travel alarm clock is a great choice – or even fancy luggage tags! Business books are great, too, especially for the executive on the rise. How about a book on Etiquette? As a speaker who touches on that subject, I can assure you that most people would LOVE to have the dos and don’ts when it comes to etiquette. And so on. The possibilities for giving a wonderful gift are not tied to your pocketbook or wallet. Just get creative and – in a pinch – you can always ask their assistant where a person’s outside interests lie.
Last but not least, you could send your clients a notice that you are writing and posting a recommendation for them on Linked In. This does not cost you a dime – just some of your time. Imagine getting a note from a vendor or associate that reads: “You’ve been so amazing to work with this past year that, in the spirit of holiday giving, I am giving you a recommendation on Linked In. I will also be making a donation in your name to _____ (list your charity here).” Isn’t that incredibly thoughtful? You can make a single donation to your favorite charity and rather than shop and go crazy, just spend a few quite evenings writing recommendations for your clients.
Here is a brief video about a response I got a few weeks ago after deciding to post a Linked In recommendation for a colleague. Happy Holidays!
Are You “Lunch Worthy”?
When it comes to marketing, the future is texting and “permission-based” advertising to attract new business and keep customers on site. Michael Perhaes, Sr. V.P. of Edelman Digital in Chicago, predicts that soon there will be no “traditional” or “digital” marketing, just “marketing.” He recently commented in the Las Vegas Sun on the state of – and various types of – hotel marketing. This combination of traditional and digital marketing, according to Perhaes, is being referred to already as “tradigital.”Inspiring, to say the least.
Reading Michael’s comment reminded me just how much I want to create my own word(s). This desire first came to me when Stephen Colbert invented the word “truthiness” a while ago. I decided I, too, wanted to invent a word. But where to begin….?
Hmmm. Being “The Queen of the Business Lunch,” I thought my word should probably have something to do with the Business Lunch. If I had a dollar for every time I had to type or say “Business Lunch,” I’d have more money than Trump. Don’t think I haven’t considered inventing “blunch.” It’s just that the word itself is, well, unappealing and unappetizing. I’ve used “biz lunch” in the past, but it sounds too hurried, as in “Let’s catch a smoothie after a work out in the gym.”
I could rip of Colbert directly – and talk about “lunchiness.” But what exactly would “lunchiness” mean?
I finally decided upon a phrase, rather than a single word. I’m here to discuss my new phrase: “LUNCH WORTHY”! This works for me, as time today is our greatest resource. If you want me to meet you for lunch, I have to consider taking at least an hour to get ready (now that I work from home, I am not always “lunch ready”!) But that just scratches the surface.
There is the drive to wherever your office is or to the restaurant, if I am not going to pick you up. After SCHLEPPING back and forth across the valley for nearly 20 years, I am incredibly reluctant to drive very far just to have lunch with a colleague or client. Working from home has definitely spoiled me!
Then, there is the preparation. Preparing for a business lunch takes time. I have to get up-to-date on the industry, current events, and so on…. I’m sure you’re getting the picture.
The WORST part about lunch today is that since I’m now dressed up and out and about, I will most likely want to stop at the market on my way home. It’s apparent that a simple 1.5 hour lunch (or my favorite 2+ hour lunch) is going to turn into a 5-hour excursion. Taking 5 hours out of my day means I’ll be sitting here at 11PM, working and making up for lost time.
Are you LUNCH WORTHY? Is having lunch with you going to be so fabulous that it will be well WORTH the five hours it’s going to take? In many cases, it IS worth it. I love to connect with former colleagues and I definitely enjoy work-related business lunches with current clients or prospects. There are also worthwhile industry functions – which are tremendous networking opportunities!
The next time you take someone out to lunch, make sure you have a lot to share. Try to be as LUNCH WORTHY as possible and I bet you’ll see your lunch calendar fill up quickly!
And, if you still can’t spare the time it takes to have a productive, yet leisurely lunch, remember that a coffee or breakfast meeting can always solve your problems. Here is a clip where I explain why coffee is a great substitute for a business lunch.
When Paying for Dinner Becomes a Nightmare…
I had a nightmare last night and I bet you’ve had one that is similar. I dreamed I was at 
dinner with friends – some old friends and a few new ones. The restaurant was noisy – probably not the best choice for a relaxed dinner and conversation, especially when our goal was to get to know each other better.
I’d taken pains to tell everyone (through e-mail) that we had a special guest and that we would all chip in to take care of his meal. The five of us ordered. Some had drinks, some did not. Some ate full meals, some ate salads. The time flew.
Our guest of honor – who is fascinating and tells some of the best stories – hardly got a chance to share his story! Everyone kept interrupting, stories trailed off, the server came by with interruptions in the course of the dinner, and our attempt to go around the table and share our stories never even made it full circle. It was chaotic, but it was still okay as there was never a split second of awkward silence.
As “The Queen of the Business Lunch”, I’ve often had people tell me that they would be too intimidated to eat with me. This makes me laugh. They hold me to a higher standard, thinking I know all the ins and outs of socializing. What they don’t realize is that I’m human, too, and make many mistakes. That is one of the reasons I wrote “The Art of the Business Lunch” - why should we ALL have to make the same mistakes when, instead, you could learn from all the mistakes I’VE made without having to make them yourself?!?
It’s true, I do know more than the average person about etiquette – particularly business etiquette. Being able to execute it, however, can still be challenging. I speak on business etiquette, how to make lively conversation, and even on how to handle the check discreetly. This is particularly helpful when taking clients out. Unfortunately, group events where it’s “each man for himself” still leave me dazed and confused.
In business, I always say that whoever does the inviting should pick up the check. Often times, in order to avoid an embarrassing situation, I’ll pick up a check that is not mine to pick up. One such example happened when I was printing my first book.
My original, self-published book
A printer invited me to lunch. He stood to make a good deal of money off of me. We had a nice lunch and then the check came. And it sat there…and sat there. Finally, I said, “Well, let’s see what we have here.” The printer reached for his wallet and said, “Oh here…let me…get the tip.” HUH? Did he get my printing business? What do you think! He lost a sale for thousands of dollars simply because he invited me to lunch and failed to pick up the check.
But like last night’s conversation, I digress. Back to the dream…
Paying for Dinner - It Doesn't HAVE to Be a Disaster!
The check finally came and it was put in front of me. $235. How was that possible when no one ate anything (or so it seemed!) I attempted to split it five ways. Our guest of honor immediately tossed in $40 – and I forgot that the rest of us had agreed he was to be our guest. One of the new friends said, “I didn’t have anything to drink,” and another friend said, “I didn’t have anything to eat,” though she shared a bottle of wine and had an order of fries AND would have put in extra to cover our guest. And with a built-in gratuity and 8% sales tax, it’s easy for people to miscalculate what they actually owe. Oh – and there was a lovely mix of cash and credit cards to make things even worse!
As I said, I am human – and I panicked! Yes, it can happen. It was late, I was tired, I’d had a glass of wine with dinner and a cocktail before that, so I just wasn’t as sharp as I could have been. No one chipped in the extra, earlier agreed upon money to cover our guest. And another friend who knew we were “going Dutch” but didn’t know we were trying to pick up our guest’s meal, was the only one who ordered a full meal, a cocktail, and shared the bottle of wine, did not put in even enough to cover his share.
BUT THIS IS ALL BESIDE THE POINT! You must NEVER get into a “you had this and she had that” scenario!!! It’s not just a nightmare, but it makes everyone uncomfortable. SO – when people do not pay what they should, what is the solution? The solution is to avoid that situation to begin with!
After waking up with my “nightmare” still fresh in my mind, feeling positively dreadful over how things were settled, I started out today by asking some of my expert sources what they would have done and how they might have handled this. My favorite response was from Phil Robertson, a marketing expert who has experienced similar “nightmare” experiences. Phil said the very best way to handle this is from the moment you sit down together at the table.
Phil said you get everyone’s attention and say, “We are here this evening to get to know and honor our special guest. We are going to split the check evenly – so order whatever you want.” That way, everyone knows going in that they must “pay to play.” They will have a special evening and they will eat and drink what they want (or not), and they will come away enriched and entertained. It’s not about the dinner – it’s about the RELATIONSHIPS!
The reason I like Phil’s suggestion so much is that it not only resolves the whole chaotic scene at the end of the meal, but it also HONORS your guest in the clearest, most upfront way – making them FEEL SPECIAL – which is what I speak on ALL THE TIME! It’s critically important to make others feel special. Not only does Phil’s suggestion single out your guest and make them feel special, but it also makes the REST of the guests there feel special – since they get to share in a special evening. SPECIAL, SPECIAL, SPECIAL – are you seeing a pattern here?
I doubt our guest felt very honored last night, other than by the fact that we showed up. Not only that, but he hardly had a chance to speak at all! Again, a noisy restaurant, interruptions all around, and five type-A personalities can make it hard to get a word in. What a wasted opportunity, hence – a dream dinner became a nightmare. Has this ever happened to you?
At this point, I’m in full damage-control mode. Our guest is in for a special treat – which I am currently working on. I don’t want him to think for a minute that he isn’t special; he is. If he wasn’t, I wouldn’t be the wreck I am today.
One of the other messages I always share is to follow the Scout’s motto: Be Prepared. It’s not surprising that the solution to this situation lies in being prepared – making an announcement, avoiding the situation to begin with. Success expert Napoleon Hill said, “In every adversity, there lies the seed of greater advantage.” I have a new story for my presentations, I uncovered great advice for others (since I’m not the ONLY person this happens to), and hopefully, my guest will know the depth of concern for him and his feelings by this self-deprecating blog.
On the bright side, being able to learn from our mistakes makes us that much sharper and savvy the NEXT time we encounter an opportunity to grow.